My Hidden Treasure

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Always enjoy my meeting

Last night was the monthly meeting. I always enjoy being around that group (for the most part).
I got to see a friend I haven't seen in a while and she looked incredible, then proceeds to tell me she doesn't stick to the program at all. Her husband sits there telling me how she eats pizza and wings, drinks soda with bubbles etc. Proving once again, this surgery works very different for each person. No two of us are exactly alike.
It pains me to hear remarks about a person I consider a friend. It is unfortunate that this friend requires a great deal of attention...attention , unfortunately that is met with disdain and disinterest. So do I say something and risk up setting her or just shut up and just let her continue to turn people off?
We had someone there last night who doesn't come very often. She was extremely supportive of the Band (which is a good thing because she is having success with it), but her support was a bit...how would I put it...defensive and unfortunately most of what she said, wasn't true. She likened taking antacid to taking too much insulin WHAT!!! She also said the only reason there aren't a lot of band people at the meetings is because they are a success and only the failures show up to tell their story...huh? She was at the meeting wasn't she? Most of us there are success stories and the Band people have to stay far more attached to the system then RNY does...we don't need fills. She was a young girl and bragged about not needing supplements...when I was that young I didn't need them either...and the point would be?
We each chose the surgery that is best for us...Some of us do things for the wrong reasons and some of us just don't do well with our choice. That's why they have revisions. It doesn't mean people fail (although sometimes that is the case) I think everyone should be Bias about the surgery they had...If you can't defend your surgery with a success story then you had the wrong surgery. I personally would not have done well with the Band, I know that and I'm not sorry about my decision. However I have defended the band to those I feel would benefit by it.
Sometimes people come along that you just want to shake some sense into. We love hearing success stories and I for one don't care what surgery it's about. It is unfortunate that most Band people I happen to know, even outside my group, were NOT successful and some have already had revisions. I'd like to see that need eliminated by having the correct surgery the first time around. No one needs to come and defend themselves or their decision to us. We are all there to help each other and to answer questions from those who are seeking surgery. We all simply tell the truth as it pertains to US. This is not a competition between two surgeries, it is giving people a choice of tools and helping them by example to chose the one best for them.
For those of you who may have been at the meeting...One more untruth you heard was that both surgeries eliminate diabetes. They DO NOT. One, the Band, will help you maintain your diabetes and you may very well become a diet controlled diabetic, but you will NEVER not be diabetic. RNY appears to be a CURE for type 2 diabetes, there are studies being done now in hope of offering by-pass surgery as a cure for diabetes...However the stomach will not be made smaller in that surgery, since it has no bearing on why the diabetes goes away. You NEED to gather facts and then have time to sort them out...because unfortunately there is a lot of bad info floating around. Do your homework people.....

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Colorblind

I had a situation happen when I was visiting my family on Long Island. I stopped in a store that caters to Hispanic needs. I love the store, because I love ethnic food.
As I'm standing on line , behind a little old man a woman taps me on the shoulder. I can't hear her because of the loud music and lots of chatter, but her body language tells me she is asking if this is the end of the line. I answer with a smile and say "no, I believe it's back there" and I point 5 people behind me. I turn back to look at the register, wondering why the girl told us to wait...she is just standing there. I see the little old man looking uncomfortable and I turn to see this woman (who asked me about the line) glaring at me saying "Wow" "wow". I politely say "excuse me?" she again says "Wow"... I say to her "I have no idea whats happening here, we are all just waiting for her" and I point to the register. THEN the woman said to me , in a very sarcastic and nasty tone..."She is WAITING for me". I then say , as I politely move back to make room for her "I'm sorry, I misunderstood what you were asking". This idiot turns to me and says "You knew exactly what I said and then you pointed to the BACK"...
You talk about waving a red flag.... I wanted to say "No sweetie, we aren't on a bus" but that would have been what I consider to be a racial remark. The woman was Black.
I was furious, not only do I have friends of every ethnic background imaginable...I have been colorblind my entire life. People are people and I accept them for who they are, not for the color of their skin. I told her she had a crappy attitude and when she tried once again to play the race card (which by the way, everyone seemed appalled by) I told her to "stop it, don't even go there and make a fool out of yourself. You are barking up the wrong tree. " I asked her why she stood there making stupid remarks, when all she had to do was say "excuse me, that checker is waiting for me"...The woman obviously had a chip on her shoulder and for anyone who knows me, they know I do not tolerate chips, especially when racially motivated, I'll knock it right the hell off. Rich was with me and he knows me, poor guy LOL I wouldn't embarrass myself and when I made my last remark and saw all the smiling faces, it became obvious who they thought the idiot was. We noticed she hung back and waited for us to leave...oh did I mention we changed lines :-)
I've lived a lot of years on this plant and I have never had someone feel it necessary to play a race card. I now see how wars begin...some one who sees what they want to see and believes what they want to believe no matter how wrong they are. Then along comes someone like me, willing to knock that chip off and BANG a war begins. That lady will never know how she changed my life, what an impact she made. It is a shame that everyone can't get along, but that's just the way things are. The world is full of idiots like that woman, just looking to make a point...I will no longer be the agent that gives them their stage. If a situation like this ever happens to you...walk away and don't let an idiot like that, no matter what their race, make you think badly of the entire race. The color of your skin doesn't make you an idiot, it's how you perceive the world that does... Now what does this have to do with WL? Under different circumstances I would have gone home and ate myself "Calm"...I didn't...because of retraining my thoughts about food, knowing it wouldn't change that encounter. I just blew off steam and got on with my day....Happy New Year!!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year

I can't say that I am sorry to say good-bye to 2010, it was very nice to Rich and I, but we've had worse years . I'm looking forward to this year for so many reasons....I have so much I want to do and I believe I may actually get some of it done LOL I've already made a list and I've already planned time to work and fit in play. I don't make resolutions, it's just something to get in the way. I did promise myself to start from scratch with WL, going back to the beginning (pretend of course) because I'd like to lose more weight and I think this year will be much less stressful... I also think I may be able to fit in a personal trainer which would be fabulous. A new year is always time for new beginnings , some work out, some don't, but it's nice to have something to focus on. I've joined a doll group, along with my art groups... and I so totally enjoy all that I do with them. I've come to realize that I enjoy being creative . Prior to retirement I had very little time. Now I have the time to play and that's exactly what I intend to do. Of course that means I have to get my studio back in order ...ugh!! What a job lies ahead of me...this Christmas caused me to make an even bigger mess LOL if that's possible LOL But I have inspiration now, I've filled my sketch book with all sorts of things I'd like to do...I may even enter a few contest...now there is something unique for me. I used to enter contest, have a few ribbons to show for it, but then I stopped, not even sure why...Perhaps because it isn't about ribbons and prizes for me...it's just about the joy of seeing something come to fruition. But there are a few challenges coming up that I just might have to jump at :-)
I've decided I need a "ME" Blog. This one was started for WLS in an effort to help others coming up the line. Every once in a while I throw some of my own life in and then feel guilty that I didn't stick to the subject...So I will be spending some time getting a creative Blog going...I'd like to work on something pretty, a bit of fantasy and winged things...Like fairies, butterflies and such. I'd like to be able to fill that with my creations so other people can enjoy them as much as I enjoy creating them.
Of course all things do not photograph as pretty as the truly are, but I think it's time. It's a new year and time for new beginnings ....I do wish all my friends a very Happy and Healthy New Year..Keep in touch.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Toxic People

I'm sure I used that title before...Toxic people seem to pop up a lot when it comes to this surgery.
First, let me answer a question someone wrote yesterday regarding my Christmas Eve menue.
I have mentioned many times that my life as far as entertaining , has not changed one iota.
Anyone who thinks that their social life will end because of this surgery is sadly mistaken...you will eat less and you will make healthier choices...those are the only factors that change.
I made Pecan encrusted Haddock (baked) it is soaked in buttermilk then dipped in cracker crumbs (I make myself) mixed with ground pecans. Crabmeat stuffed mushrooms, make your own and controll the amont of bread you use (I use fresh made bread crumbs from 7 grain bread) Lts of crab, only a little bread crumbs...baked after being sprayed with olive oil. Caviche, made fresh, very low in calories and delicious. I huge salad that had mixed greens, tomato, radich, green onion, feta cheese and cranberries. Butternut squash with wilted spinach and a citrus dressing (just a tad)The squash is baked in cubes, red onions cooked on top of the stove then all mixed together, the heat wilts the spinach. My friends know to make FF/SF dessert ...sometimes they actually listen LOL Okay so thats how you eat healthy and enjoy company.
As for Toxic people. many people are jealous when someone decides to lose weight..it's just that human factor playing out. They may accuse you of "Taking the easy way out" because you "melt" so rapidly. We all know this isn't EASY, but some of us need a tool that will help us. Not all of us succeed and you will hear about those people from friends and relives. They will tell you of horror stories , people who had a lot of problems, people who gained back all their weight...Some of what they say may actually have some truth connected to it. For the most part it will be BS.
I'm not sure why people feel a need to try and discourage us or make us feel like alien beings.
Personally, once I made up my mind I didn't give a crap about anyones stories. I especially didn't want to hear about "Risk" factors. You are born dying...life is a terminal illness...Deal with that fact. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease are all killers...How come Fat people don't worry about those "RISK" factors? How come your friends and family don't give a Sh** about you dying from obesity related illness, but they are really against you doing something about it ? makes you wonder, doesn't it? If not it should... I do not tolerate Toxic people. I distance myself from anyone who tries to tell me whats GOOD for me. If you are not willing to die in my place...Shut the hell up! I worry more about those of you who chose surgery for all the wrong reasons. I'm sure friends and family play a part in that as well. Do your homework, ask questions, research topic's and most of all know the risk factor connected to your hospital...not some nation wide survey done 10 years ago. If you learn nothing else from me, learn to stand for what you believe in. Tell your family and friends what you've decided to do and then tell them if they can't support you, to at least love you enough to leave you alone and keep their opinions to themselves.

Monday, December 27, 2010

A Hard Day for Me

As you can see by the date, Christmas was BUSY LOL...It was indeed..My Christmas eve celebration was a huge success. The meal was fabulous (not tooting my own horn, it just was) when I see people come back for seconds and thirds and clean their plate...I KNOW I did something right. I had left over too...so there was plenty of food. Next year I will do all my chopping and dicing ahead...I spent most of the day in the kitchen on Christmas Eve and that was just wrong...
Of course friends surprised me with lovely gifts and home made breads as well as a wood turned puzzle . A good time was had by all.

Christmas day was another cooking day but not as bad. Matt seemed very happy with his TV(his has been broken for a while, so that was his BD and Christmas gift) he ate well and took left overs home, so he was happy.
Of course I was showered with lovely gifts, clothes and jewelry. The jewelry was created by an artist so it was really special...One of a kind. We spoke to the kids and they also seemed to be having a wonderful day. We were supposed to leave today to go see them, but the Blizzard of 2010 has prevented that. Trip is on hold.

This day is a hard day for me. This day 1981 my life was forever changed. The most important man in my life was taken much too soon. I used to sing a song as I cuddled close to my dad. Even as a grown up..in part, I sang "He isn't much in the eyes of the world, he'll never make history. No he isn't much in the eyes of the world, but he is the world to me. My Dad, now here is a man, to me he is everything strong, no he can't do wrong...my Dad..."... 1981 is like yesterday, it was a lesson no child should have to learn, yet we all do...what it feels like to have you heart broken.
The void that was left behind on that day has never been filled, it hurts as much today as it did then...yet I smile, because that's what my dad would expect me to do,. It was the thing about me he loved the best. He said my smile lite up his world. So today, while I will never forget the echo of the doctors words "I'm sorry...he's gone..." I will remember a very special relationship that few children have...The hours and hours devoted just to me...Ice skating, roller skating, God could that man dance on skates. The days we spent on the water, fishing and skiing..The vacations in the mountains (the ones I live in now) camping and fishing...always looking for that one that got away LOL My Dad and I NEVER had a cross word, he never raised a hand to me and I never heard a cuss word cross his lips. I knew only smiles and laughter with that man. His sense of humor was incredible and he never had a mean word for anyone... he may not have made history...but he should have. The world was a better place because he was in it.
Happy Anniversary in Heaven Daddy... I miss you......

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Pain and excitement...

I have no idea what happened to yesterdays Blog entry. Nothing seemed to be working correctly yesterday...I'll take that as a message from above and move on LOL

I do have a number of new comers who write to me, so I know they read this Blog. This morning there was a post regarding left side pain. Sometimes I am left wondering where everyone goes when we discuss this in meetings. It comes up often. I believe I've even discussed it here a few times. I'm starting to think that we are so eager for this surgery that we just turn off to any negative conversation. While talk about this pain did concern me, only because there were some that spoke about extreme pain that required pain medication, it wasn't enough to deter me.
I both NEEDED and wanted the surgery.
I was very lucky, I had no pain at all, some minor discomfort on my left side, but nothing to speak of. I have had bruised ribs that were extremely painful and I have also had a gas pocket for gall bladder surgery, so I know what it feels like and it certainly is worth complaining about.
Pain Med's? I don't think so, but I'm not fond of anything that makes me feel the way pain meds do...so I avoid them at all cost.
I have no doubt that those who complain of extreme pain, are in fact in pain. When I questioned Dr. Strauss with regard to the pain I've heard so much about (prior to my surgery) . She explained that the camera is inserted near the left side rib cage, that camera is moved around quite a bit and tends to cause trauma to that lower rib. Since we are all built a bit different and since the extent of the camera movement also varies...what becomes discomfort to some, will be far more painful to others. Then add the gas factor. Again I was lucky, I had not one bit of gas..NONE that bothered me. However, there are many who end up with a lot of gas and that all by itself is painful, although temporary. It is unfortunate that for some, pain will be a part of this surgery. It is something you MAY have to deal with. For some it last a day or two, for others weeks. It is always my prayer that pain for you is minimal. I wish every one could have the surgical experience I did. Unfortunately that's not always the case...If you have pain following your surgery it is always good to contact a professional. If you have left side pain, in all probability wit is what I just described and it will pass sooner or later.
I have a strange feeling this won't be the last time I write about this LOL I guess it is human nature to deny the prospect of pain before it occurs.
We are eagerly awaiting the announcement of a birth within the group. His name will be Jacob and he has more "Grandmothers" "Aunts" and "Uncles" then he is bargaining for LOL he had some rough patches along the way...but he is fully cooked now and ready to meet his new world.
Sometime today I will be shouting Yahooooo!!! You'll probably hear me so listen carefully.
What a fabulous Christmas Gift for Lisa and the family.....
Merry Christmas to ALL!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

All I want for Christmas

Is a big roll of duct tape ....Don't even ask me what I intend to do with it.
I grow so weary of people thinking everything that happens to them is the end of the world...when in fact, in the GRAND picture, it's nothing. I watched 20/20 last night and saw these women explaining how their babies died due to lack of warmth. I saw an infant on the brink of dying due to malnutrition and all the wonderful people who have given up so much in their own lives, just to be there to help save the lives of strangers. These are HUGE problems and they are out there, yet people will continue to whimper over every little thing that happens to them, like it's the end of the world...or whats even worse are those that post a problem and make it sound like they are doing it out of the kindness of their heart to "Protect" others...Puhleeze!
I recently got a call from a friend and fellow WLS sister. This person had some issues that required surgery (not to do with WLS), she was supposed to be on bed rest, but her Dad, who was recently operated on, start squirting arterial blood everywhere. Needless to say, there went her bed rest...when she returned home to clean up the blood after leaving her dad at the hospital she was notified that her brothers house burned to the ground, Christmas gifts and all. Thank God every one survived. If this person had posted, just to vent, I would have understood. Listen we all need to vent, that's part of what our little WLS family is all about, but there is a thin line between venting and whining and beating a dead horse.
What I find really remarkable, is not only didn't this person post about all her grief...she continues to smile and help others. To me she is an unsung hero. Someone who can set her own needs aside and think of someone else. I hope the angels smile on her in the New Year, she certainly deserves it.
Holiday eating is another issue I think we get very hung up on. We all know what we have to do, yet, I think sometimes we, myself included, hope we will get permission to eat what ever we want as often as we want just for one day...Why else does it worry us? What does Christmas have to do with making healthy choices? Well sure there are more goodies, soooo? Does anyone truly believe, if they ate a piece of candy, a small piece of pie or cake or all three, that you would gain 20 pounds? Do not go into this Eating frenzy Holiday, with a mind set of over indulgence. Plan to eat healthy, make sure your protein is eaten before anything else. If you have room for a small piece of pie and you REALLY desire it, HAVE IT. Get over it and move on. If one piece of pie will send you over the edge, back into old habits, totally out of control, Call a therapist immediately.
The majority of us will enjoy our Christmas to the fullest. It is about family and friends and sharing. It's not all about the food and it certainly is not about guilt. Guilt is an enemy that can cause you to spiral down hill. There is nothing to be guilty for. One indulgence does not a FAT person make. Over indulgence, endless indulgence...now that's a different story and no one is going there. RIGHT? Enjoy!! Have a Merry (guilt free) Christmas...