There are a bunch of people in line for surgery over the next two months. I smile when I read their post because that was me a little over two years ago.
We make this decision, we jump through all the hoops, read everything we can, talk openly on the thread and then suddenly, at the 11th hour, we are filled with questions. Perhaps we even have some doubt.
Any surgery is a big step. This step is huge. At times I've had fear for my fellow Butterflies (which I've expressed privately, you know who you are) and over this brief period of time I've heard several regrets. They wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't see it coming. There are times I want to just scream "DON'T DO IT", other times I want to talk to Bob and tell him to hold back, the person isn't ready and destined to fail..but who am I? Perhaps a person who is detached enough, or connected enough, or maybe just has a 6th sense, to know it's just not going to work.
Once the deed is done, all I can offer is support and hope my feelings are wrong...so far they haven't been and that hurts.
People go into this surgery with such great expectations. They are so excited they just want it DONE ALREADY...let me get on with my life and get skinny. What a wonderful thought. I just wish I'd hear more about "Let the work begin toward a new and better life". I think because people see those of use who have shed the pounds and seem so much happier and healthier for it, that they see it as magic and not the hard work it truly is.
Life does change...You learn and you continue to learn. You learn what foods work for you, you learn how to plan ahead when traveling or attending parties etc. You develop a new relationship with food and no longer live to eat. You eat slower, you take smaller bites, you feel energized, you feel invincible. Your clothes get smaller and smaller, you no longer get stuck in a chair with arms or fear booths. The list of pluses just goes on and on...but there is NO MAGIC, you work hard at keeping it all in balance, at finding out the difference between head hunger and real hunger. You find that just because you lost weight, life still has stresses that can push you over the edge. You find that friends you thought were good ones, become "different" envious, some even actually get mean or walk away. I won't even bother to go into all the reasons for that type of reaction. I am one of the lucky ones, I have enough TRUE and loyal friends to compensate for the holier then thou phonies that have crossed my path.
These are all things that can undermine your happiness and try and steal your thunder. people entering into this life style should not do so without a great deal of thought and understanding as to what they are about to do. It is NOT an easy road.
I am very opened about what I had to do to finally get weight off. I enjoy sharing my story and there are times I want to just grab a heavy person and tell them "There is hope"... but just like with an alcoholic , THEY have to know when they need help.
So I continue to mentor those who ask me. I continue to offer advice and support to those who pose questions. There are those I know will make it and continue on the road to success. Then there are those who will always find excuses, always find someone or something to blame for their lack of control or inability to work toward success. Those are the people I worry most about. If you have ever blamed life's stress, you husband, your children, mother-in-law or any person for you excess weight, if you have blamed medication or illness for causing you to become obese ? Don't have this surgery right now. Accepting responsibility for the condition you're in is the first positive step. I speak from experience. Yes my bad knee's prevented me from doing exercise and walking...but you know what? If I took in less calories during that time in my life, if I did exercise geared to my disability...Even if I wouldn't have lost, I certainly would not have gained all that I did. There is no magic...less calories + exercise= weight loss. If you're obese, you did it to yourself, now you can do this for yourself and change course. Be as steadfast about changing your life style as you were about the food and you will be a success.
This is the challenge of a life time but one you must be prepared for and determined to accept change. I'm always available to those who want to hear the truth and no nonsense. I don't placate, I don't stroke, but I do care....A LOT
