It was bound to happen. I try and stay off the scales because it isn't about the numbers with me. But I had an occasion to get on the scale a week ago and then again today. I was a bit disappointed that there was no weight loss. I've gotten spoiled. Each time I get on the scale (okay there is always many weeks in between) it shows a significant weight loss. I should think in a week it would show something. It's a bit disheartening because it's too early. Those of us who have RNY get about 18 months of easy losing. By this I mean, it's not less effort, it's just that the body gives up the fat faster. We lose most of our weight in those 18 months, then those last few pounds are usually harder to shed.
So far I've lost over 80 pounds since starting this journey so I'm not complaining. I guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall. I'm aware that this can not go on forever and sooner or later I will be left to maintain what I've lost. We all know that is the hardest part. I have no doubt I will do it, regardless of the effort it will take..Why so positive you ask? Because this has been and continues to be the journey of a life time. I've gotten my life back and I don't ever want to return to the sadness I've left behind. To be locked in a prison of body fat, unable to do the simplest of things...putting on socks, tying shoes, cutting toe nails, walking without a cane, standing for longer then 5 min without extreme pain. Weight never caused those problems before so I'd diet to look good then put it all back on, knowing I could diet again...What a waste of time and energy over a life time. Shoot, when added up I've probably lost a good 600 pounds.
No , I can not go back to that life and this is doable. I can eat like everyone else, no special diet, only good healthy choices. I'm counting on you, if your reading this, I need you. I need you to remind me of that former life and all the pain. Don't ever let me get comfortable with even 5 extra pounds. If I look like I've gained, tell me...I promise I won't get angry.
Right now I'm having a problem. I can't see the 80 + pounds I've lost. I know my clothes are smaller and I feel wonderful, but in the mirror I'm still HUGE. maybe that's a good thing..because I'm not comfortable with who I see. The compliments are wonderful but even they won't last forever and that's when I'll need the most help. Please don't let me fall again.
I have broken out of that cocoon (did ya notice?) but I have a ways to go before I can fly.
I don't mind the struggle, I truly don't, because I see the results in how I feel and that is most important..Sooner or later that struggle will end , my wings will dry and I will fly...I pray you will help me in that flight and continue to support me......
