Sadness has once again struck the "Hill". Yesterday I tended to my animals as always, Oreo has not been "right" since her mothers passing, but the baby has lifted her spirits...Yet yesterday she seemed hot and tired, didn't really want to go out so she and the baby stayed in (the barn is cooler anyway). I came in and did my computer stuff and then got ready to do some light work..I saw the horses making circles and when I went out I heard screaming...not bleating...screaming.
I got to the barn and fell into the goat stall on about 3 feet of Hay grabbed Oreo and told her everything would be okay. She snuggled her head against my neck and I could feel her relax, it was over that fast. I was glad I could be with her and that the last touch she felt was mine. There is never a doubt in any of the minds of my animals, that they are loved beyond all reason.
Meanwhile , Jake was kissing her, and Emma was hovering over me nuzzling her with her nose..I must confess, it got a bit phobic. Suddenly, as if they both realized it, they backed away and let me do what needed to be done.
Rich dug an extremely deep hole, I asked him who he was going to bury, me or Oreo. He said he didn't want other animals to smell her. WE wrapped her in a sheet and in my heart I prayed that there is in fact a Rainbow bridge... for now, life goes on.
This morning I put Jake on a leash because Emma went after him (he was sure she liked him) and between the two of them shovels and rakes were flying and I didn't want any more sadness.
The little guy got up in the buggy with me and seemed very happy to be with his "Momma" we went up and fed the fish, he ate, then we cleaned the birds, he ate, then I took him down in the pasture, he ate some more..Each time, all I had to do was get up in the MULE and say "up Jake" and there he was, right next to me, ready to go on an adventure. I look at that sweet face and cry inside knowing what I must do. It is very unfair to keep a lone herd animal. he has a real Mom and some babies just like him that he could be playing with. I am a poor substitute and I know that. he has certainly captured our hearts...but part of loving something, is knowing whats best and loving enough to let go. I'm not sure when it will happen, but it will and once again I will be sad...but only for my loss. Oreo had a wonderful life with us and has not been happy without her Mom. Jake has known a wonderful adventure, he was born into a loving family and got to stay with a loving family , regardless of the brief amount of time. For a short time Oreo had a "kid" to raise and she seemed happy and Jake certainly enjoyed her company and guidance.
I often say "Life is a terminal illness" and everything we have is 'on loan'...So I try and see the good in what is "lent to me" I enjoy every minute of each day and when sadness comes, it just fortifies my belief and makes it stronger...Nothing is forever, so enjoy what you have while you have it.....
