On March 20th at 1:47 pm the heart of one of Gods most greatest children, stopped beating.
There is no easy way, no short way to sum up the life of this man. He started with nothing, literally..born into a poor family, always meeting life's struggles with a smile and sense of humor. I can never recall my Uncle Tom not finding a reason to smile (perhaps that's where I get it from) Even at his Mothers funeral, he could find reason for laughter in the memories he shared.
I watched this man endure and continue to smile in worst of times...the loss of family, the loss of children and grandchildren. It was my privilege to be his niece (his first niece), he had a way of making everyone he loved feel like the ONLY one he loved.
I watched my Uncle, with no education, create a business, raise 4 children, get involved in politics and still manage to be respected by both sides LOL He found jobs for people out of work and if he couldn't find them, he created them...I could write a book about all the ways this man made this planet a better place simply because he was here.
I am so thankful, so very blessed that I had the opportunity to be with my Uncle in his final hours. I am so thankful that I meant enough to his family to want me there..The hospital was in awe at the crowd of "immediate" family and never said a word to try and discourage us.
When I came through the door my uncles face beamed with excitement, he smiled, he kissed me and I don't know who was happier that he had waited..me or him. he was also excited to see Rich and I cried along with the rest of the family when he looked into his eyes and mouthed "Please help me". For 76 days my Uncle was kept alive on a ventilator and for 76 days he made staff, doctors and family laugh for every one of those days.
Meanwhile in another hospital was a nephew who was dying of liver failure...I come from a family of "givers" and that became very obvious when all the pain and tears were set aside and the discussion of letting my Uncle help Paul live was presented. It was fully agreed that if possible my Uncles liver would be used to save Paul's life..How many families could do that? How many would even think beyond their own grief to consider it ? We thought perhaps the age (80 years) would be a factor...when in fact medication was a strong factor and the law saying my uncle was still using his organ was the determining factor...He wasn't brain dead.
It was at that point that the choice was made to shut down the ventilator and let him go home to God and his brothers, mother and all who went before him. He deserved that peace, the family deserved to get on with their lives. Lives had been put on hold for 76 days, shifts were taken so he would never be alone. This BEAR of a man deserved to be at peace and so we sat and watched this wonderful, generous, loving man takes his last , peaceful breath and quietly slip into Gods hands.
Yes there were tears, but not for him...for the loss of him because he will be severely missed by all he touched. My Aunt found it incredible that doctors, nurses, everyone who came in contact with him, showed up at his funeral. The crowd was unbelievable, miles and miles of cars, he was truly loved. There were definitely smiles when the head of the republican Committee stood side by side with the head of the Democrat Committee...even in death he had a way of making peace .
One of the last things Rich said to him was "Behave yourself in heaven and don't go making deals" (something my Uncle was known for..he could sell you the Brooklyn Bridge twice)
So on a happier note, when Paul's wife showed up at Toms funeral everyone wanted to know why she was there and not at the hospital with Paul. Her answer lightened the mood to shouts of joy...
"Because Paul is in surgery getting a new liver "...we were all thinking the same thing I'm sure...Uncle Tom was indeed still making deals...even with God.
AS each brother died, my Uncle took over as mentor and father to the children left behind. He was a father to ALL of us(20 in all) and someone we all knew we could turn to in a time of trouble. He was living breathing proof that in this life, it really doesn't matter how much education you have, how much money you have or where you come from (background) What truly matters is how you embrace life and treat those who cross your path. There is very little grief connected to this passing because there are so many memories, so much laughter, so many stories connected to his life and tears are the last thing he would want to see from any of us. He would want us to celebrate not what he WAS, but what he is in all of us...There lies the difference between mourning our own loss and celebrating the life of another...I will Miss you Uncle Tom, but you will be celebrated for many years to come, by many people, and for that I am over joyed.
