I am a people watcher, always have been. People interest me, not just in what they say, but in how they act and what they do. I have made a study of people...no really...I take notes, write things down...because everything is about "FACTS" not statistic's. You can read a hundred books on a subject, but you will never really know something until it touches your life with reality. MHO of course...but this is my BLOG so it's all about what I see as "TRUE" LOL
It truly amazes me as to how short some peoples memories are. I had to check my notes just to be sure...but there it was in black and white. The difference between what people said a year ago about this surgery and what they profess to be true now is like night and day. Now you know why I kept a Blog, why I journal...because we forget. I would too if I didn't write it all down...but I do...not only my own thoughts but what people say to me and to others. I don't do this to check up on THEM, I do it to check on myself...to see if I am better off because I did or didn't listen to their advice.
Like Robert Frost, I tend to take the road less traveled...I have always been a bit of a rebel. I don't follow..I will walk along side or I will lead, but I don't follow..so sue me. I do listen and if it makes logical sense I'll even take advice at times...but in most cases I follow what I know is right for me and it is times like this that I am glad I did.
I don't have to make up stories about how GREAT I felt after surgery...just go back and read for yourself. If I had a problem I wrote about it. I remember, a year ago, thinking to myself 'wow I really was lucky. All these people complaining about pain and discomfort, all these problems. trouble eating, dumping etc."...Now to hear them tell it, they never had a problem..everything was a breeze...Totally amazing.
There are those, like me, who have kept a record. But they are also like me in the fact that they really haven't had any problems. They are people who entered into this for all the right reasons and they truly haven't had any problems. Please understand, I belong to several groups dealing with this surgery so I hear a lot. But as time goes on, I realize that this surgery is like having a baby...the more time that passes the less you remember about trying to get a watermelon out through a nostril. The human mind is a wonderful thing.
To all the new people seeking surgery. If by chance you should happen to read this...Think about it. When I tell you to talk to people, read all you can, do your homework and your research. I say it for a reason. This Journey will change your life forever. I have yet to meet anyone who would not do it all again...in a heartbeat. But please know it is not all party hats and horns...I had a wonderful experience and I attribute that to a very positive attitude. NOTHING was going to go wrong and that was that!!! You will hear me mention attitude a lot, because the mind is a powerful tool that most people only use a small part of. I believe ALL things are possible and for me it has always been true...I also believe that all things happen for a reason .
Do not enter into this lightly, but do not believe all that you hear either...most people have very short memories...LOL
My Hidden Treasure
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Stimulating the Economy
YIKES!! When did I buy so much stuff? I just keep finding more and more...some of it, I don't even remember buying. How is that possible? LOL
It's all good. It's like Christmas every time I open a bag. Of course there is very little I NEEDED, but this trip wasn't about NEED...It was about exploring other avenues of the art and quilt world. I've come to the conclusion that I am not as much a quilter as I am an artist..I love quilts and I love making them. However bed quilts and lap blankets no longer excite me the way they once did. Now I like quilts with dimension and texture, things that make me smile when I see them....I sure got enough stuff to experiment with :-)
I got on the scale this morning and had to look again. Who loses weight on vacation? From the looks of it, I did. I'm going to stop at the doctors office today and check her scale before I get too excited. I did try and eat well, we all did, but we also had some snacks and goodies that weren't on any diet I ever heard. We did walk a lot though, so perhaps I did lose a few pounds. Wouldn't that be wonderful ?
My daughter kept up my facebook page so I doubt anyone there even knew I was gone. It really is good to be home. Now I just have to get my head back from vacation and move forward once again in the REAL world.
My turtle is still in a cage, it is just too cold to set him free. If it warms up by the week-end he will be screaming "Free at last". Now some of you who know turtles are cold blooded are probably shaking your head...but our turtles are still in hibernation because of the weather here as opposed to Kentucky where it is already in the 70's, so it would be a bit of a shock for this poor guy....I have no doubt he will be fine once it warms up. He certainly will be a lot safer.
For those of you who read this and are new to the WLS program, I Hope you realize that life does not stop after surgery...it gets better and you can indeed go on vacation and do everything you always did...including EAT. The only thing that changes is your ability to eat too much and that is a GOOD thing.
Life just keeps getting better.....
It's all good. It's like Christmas every time I open a bag. Of course there is very little I NEEDED, but this trip wasn't about NEED...It was about exploring other avenues of the art and quilt world. I've come to the conclusion that I am not as much a quilter as I am an artist..I love quilts and I love making them. However bed quilts and lap blankets no longer excite me the way they once did. Now I like quilts with dimension and texture, things that make me smile when I see them....I sure got enough stuff to experiment with :-)
I got on the scale this morning and had to look again. Who loses weight on vacation? From the looks of it, I did. I'm going to stop at the doctors office today and check her scale before I get too excited. I did try and eat well, we all did, but we also had some snacks and goodies that weren't on any diet I ever heard. We did walk a lot though, so perhaps I did lose a few pounds. Wouldn't that be wonderful ?
My daughter kept up my facebook page so I doubt anyone there even knew I was gone. It really is good to be home. Now I just have to get my head back from vacation and move forward once again in the REAL world.
My turtle is still in a cage, it is just too cold to set him free. If it warms up by the week-end he will be screaming "Free at last". Now some of you who know turtles are cold blooded are probably shaking your head...but our turtles are still in hibernation because of the weather here as opposed to Kentucky where it is already in the 70's, so it would be a bit of a shock for this poor guy....I have no doubt he will be fine once it warms up. He certainly will be a lot safer.
For those of you who read this and are new to the WLS program, I Hope you realize that life does not stop after surgery...it gets better and you can indeed go on vacation and do everything you always did...including EAT. The only thing that changes is your ability to eat too much and that is a GOOD thing.
Life just keeps getting better.....
Monday, April 26, 2010
I'm Baaaaack!!!
Oh what a time it was...Marilynn and I left here on Monday and it Barboursville around 5 pm. We stayed in a Holiday Inn that we've stayed in before but I doubt we will stay in again. Now you either pay for breakfast or you get a free one of packaged pastry, coffee and a pc of fruit...YUK!!! On the way home we hit a Holiday Inn Express and woke up to a wonderful breakfast of eggs, biscuits and gravy, sausage, fruit, yogurt, all sorts of breakfast stuff. It was wonderful..So Hurricane will be our stop next year.
We picked up Stef and Jodie in Elizabethtown (or as our GPS said E-Lisa-BETH-town). Jodie was new this year, but what a great addition to our crew. She sure fit right in and made us laugh more often then we needed too.
Our cabin was the same as last year. We never did get to walk down to the lake as we had hoped. We booked a 3 bedroom two bath cabin at Kentucky Dam for next year. It's closer to Paducah and we just like it there better. The cabins are newer.
We made a friend and called him Simone, a raccoon. He helped us finish up all the goodies each night (less trash) pictures of him will be added later.
The show was different this year because the convention center is being renovated, but it was still fun and I did my very best to stimulate the economy of Paducah. I was a bit disappointed in my feet...guess my old sneakers weren't a good choice of walking shoe. I was in so much pain by the end of day two I could hardly stand...had to go buy me some "Shape Ups" and some Eccos..unfortunately my feet were so bad by then, that it took days for them to come back...It didn't damper my fun too much but I did have to sit more then usual and that pissed me off.
The girls always managed to find me and come get me for the "Good stuff" but I'm sure I missed a lot. We did copy and exchanged tons of patterns...something we swore we would not buy this year...so much for promising. It's hard to pass up things you "Just have to HAVE"...Jodie and I were in ecstasy with all the glitter and stones and paints etc......We did some serious damage to our budget with that stuff. Of course every night was like Christmas, when we would have show and tell and then exchange little gifts we got for each other...from fabric to mugs to all sorts of fun stuff ..heck Jodie even found a key chain with a crown...some day I will have to write about the crown thing between Stef and I, but we found a lot of crowns this year and were very happy.
I had a thing about the STOP signs in the park...just kept forgetting they were there. Every time I'd roll through one, Jodie would say "It was only a suggestion"...took away some of the guilt LOL She is very quick witted and great with her IPhone as far as finding stuff. Although we probably could have done without finding Hobby Lobby ROTFLMAO!!!
We had a lot of laughs..woke up laughing and went to sleep laughing...Of course as usual my driving ability was questioned(although I continue to be the designated driver) and I did miss a few turns (either because of laughing or talking) LOL but we all managed to laugh until we cried. I DID manage to find us some spectacular parking each day, as close to the show as you'd want to be, other then IN the place LOL so I redeemed myself.
On the way to Elizabethtown to drop off Stef and Jodie we passed lots of turtles...some squished, some trying to cross the road on their way to being squished...very sad. Suddenly there was one right in front of me trying to cross a major highway. You know I had to pull over, back up and rescue the thing. Jodie was delighted and Marilynn was ready to bale (she doesn't like reptiles AT ALL) Poor Jodie got stuff holding the thing until we could find a box, which Marilynn did when we stopped for gas...Actually she bought a fold up cooler LMAO!! So Lucky had a safe home well out of Marilynns view and everyone was happy...BTW that was AFTER lucky did a pooh on a plastic bag on Jodies lap..aaahhhh the things we do to save a life. Lucky will be released sometime today up on my property (Oh yes he stayed at the Holiday Inn Express also LOL) I am sure he will do just fine. We do have roads and he could make it to one of them but his chances are much better here then in Kentucky. I've renamed him Kentucky Lucky...Ken for short.
Poor Marilynn was one hurting Pup on the way home, between her hips and shoulders I'm not sure what was worse. We did have the comedy channel on the radio and that helped ease the pain I'm sure...at one point we were laughing so hard at Larry the cable Guy I could hardly see where I was going...not a good way to drive , but it sure was funny.
Did I mention stopping at another Hobby Lobby on the way home? Seems that after we dropped of Stef and Jodie we had ALL this extra space to fill..LOL...Can you tell we are still laughing?
Pictures will follow at some point....
We picked up Stef and Jodie in Elizabethtown (or as our GPS said E-Lisa-BETH-town). Jodie was new this year, but what a great addition to our crew. She sure fit right in and made us laugh more often then we needed too.
Our cabin was the same as last year. We never did get to walk down to the lake as we had hoped. We booked a 3 bedroom two bath cabin at Kentucky Dam for next year. It's closer to Paducah and we just like it there better. The cabins are newer.
We made a friend and called him Simone, a raccoon. He helped us finish up all the goodies each night (less trash) pictures of him will be added later.
The show was different this year because the convention center is being renovated, but it was still fun and I did my very best to stimulate the economy of Paducah. I was a bit disappointed in my feet...guess my old sneakers weren't a good choice of walking shoe. I was in so much pain by the end of day two I could hardly stand...had to go buy me some "Shape Ups" and some Eccos..unfortunately my feet were so bad by then, that it took days for them to come back...It didn't damper my fun too much but I did have to sit more then usual and that pissed me off.
The girls always managed to find me and come get me for the "Good stuff" but I'm sure I missed a lot. We did copy and exchanged tons of patterns...something we swore we would not buy this year...so much for promising. It's hard to pass up things you "Just have to HAVE"...Jodie and I were in ecstasy with all the glitter and stones and paints etc......We did some serious damage to our budget with that stuff. Of course every night was like Christmas, when we would have show and tell and then exchange little gifts we got for each other...from fabric to mugs to all sorts of fun stuff ..heck Jodie even found a key chain with a crown...some day I will have to write about the crown thing between Stef and I, but we found a lot of crowns this year and were very happy.
I had a thing about the STOP signs in the park...just kept forgetting they were there. Every time I'd roll through one, Jodie would say "It was only a suggestion"...took away some of the guilt LOL She is very quick witted and great with her IPhone as far as finding stuff. Although we probably could have done without finding Hobby Lobby ROTFLMAO!!!
We had a lot of laughs..woke up laughing and went to sleep laughing...Of course as usual my driving ability was questioned(although I continue to be the designated driver) and I did miss a few turns (either because of laughing or talking) LOL but we all managed to laugh until we cried. I DID manage to find us some spectacular parking each day, as close to the show as you'd want to be, other then IN the place LOL so I redeemed myself.
On the way to Elizabethtown to drop off Stef and Jodie we passed lots of turtles...some squished, some trying to cross the road on their way to being squished...very sad. Suddenly there was one right in front of me trying to cross a major highway. You know I had to pull over, back up and rescue the thing. Jodie was delighted and Marilynn was ready to bale (she doesn't like reptiles AT ALL) Poor Jodie got stuff holding the thing until we could find a box, which Marilynn did when we stopped for gas...Actually she bought a fold up cooler LMAO!! So Lucky had a safe home well out of Marilynns view and everyone was happy...BTW that was AFTER lucky did a pooh on a plastic bag on Jodies lap..aaahhhh the things we do to save a life. Lucky will be released sometime today up on my property (Oh yes he stayed at the Holiday Inn Express also LOL) I am sure he will do just fine. We do have roads and he could make it to one of them but his chances are much better here then in Kentucky. I've renamed him Kentucky Lucky...Ken for short.
Poor Marilynn was one hurting Pup on the way home, between her hips and shoulders I'm not sure what was worse. We did have the comedy channel on the radio and that helped ease the pain I'm sure...at one point we were laughing so hard at Larry the cable Guy I could hardly see where I was going...not a good way to drive , but it sure was funny.
Did I mention stopping at another Hobby Lobby on the way home? Seems that after we dropped of Stef and Jodie we had ALL this extra space to fill..LOL...Can you tell we are still laughing?
Pictures will follow at some point....
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Off and Running
It's time to head out for Paducah. I see lot's of laughs and giggles a long the way...Not only do Marilyn and I giggle a lot anyway, but once we meet up with the others it certainly becomes a laugh fest.
I think I am happier then I have ever been about taking a trip. last year was good, but I was still in the process and very unsure if all would go well. Of course I was amazed that I only had one bump and that was when I thought it would be okay to have chili pie (don't even ask) and some Banana cream pie shake, which Stef said was "Just wonderful"....Not something I will repeat any time soon. This year I know what I can tolerate and what choices are the best for me. My legs are in great shape and I am about 55 pounds lighter then I was last year...
I remember having to rent one of those electric scooters and how humbling it was. I felt like I was in every ones way, slowing people down and just feeling totally out of place. not that scooters are a BAD thing, some people really need them...I needed one because I had ruined my knee's from being too fat and that is just no excuse. My knees are still bad..but not because they are carrying around an extra person and thanks to Synvisc they don't hurt the way they once did...
So now I continue to pack and look forward to 7 days of fun...Who knows what I will find to get into this year...Last year I decided knitting a mini purse would be fun...that was until I got wires for needles...now I can't even find the darn thing...would have liked to take another crack at it LOL What ever I find, have no fear, I'll share the highlights of the trip.
See y'all next week........................
I think I am happier then I have ever been about taking a trip. last year was good, but I was still in the process and very unsure if all would go well. Of course I was amazed that I only had one bump and that was when I thought it would be okay to have chili pie (don't even ask) and some Banana cream pie shake, which Stef said was "Just wonderful"....Not something I will repeat any time soon. This year I know what I can tolerate and what choices are the best for me. My legs are in great shape and I am about 55 pounds lighter then I was last year...
I remember having to rent one of those electric scooters and how humbling it was. I felt like I was in every ones way, slowing people down and just feeling totally out of place. not that scooters are a BAD thing, some people really need them...I needed one because I had ruined my knee's from being too fat and that is just no excuse. My knees are still bad..but not because they are carrying around an extra person and thanks to Synvisc they don't hurt the way they once did...
So now I continue to pack and look forward to 7 days of fun...Who knows what I will find to get into this year...Last year I decided knitting a mini purse would be fun...that was until I got wires for needles...now I can't even find the darn thing...would have liked to take another crack at it LOL What ever I find, have no fear, I'll share the highlights of the trip.
See y'all next week........................
Thursday, April 15, 2010
BIG NSV
For those of you unfamiliar with our lingo NSV is a None Scale Victory...meaning something wonderful happening aside from a new number on the scale.
Yesterday we had a Doctor visit and since it is so far away, we figured lets just blow the day and shop.
I managed to get some items for some classes I am planning. Some fun things to use on decorating some T-shirts I have that are much too plain for me. Then Rich decided I needed clothes that "fit" so off to clothes shopping we went...I loath clothes shopping...well at least I did..
We started in the next size down from what I was wearing, too big...no way...so we went to the next size..it fit but...okay so we will try the next size..Holy cow!!! I haven't been in a size 14 since I was ...well about 14 LOL I have to be honest..I needed a bigger blouse because of my arms so I guess like it or not I have to research some surgery. Not that I care about the size thing. It just makes me realize that I am carrying around about 30 extra pounds of skin that at times becomes "heavy". Am I happy about the size? You betcha, a far cry from the 26. But more then that , I feel good...I feel healthy and that's what really matters. I'm not mad at the world because I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I only realize that now, just how miserable I was.
It is still a struggle, I have to watch what I eat after all, I can eat just about anything..there really are no restrictions, just the request to make good choices. So it would be easy to fall of the wagon...like with WW. The only thing different is that I have a tool that prevents me from stuffing myself. I finally know what it feels like to feel "satisfied", a feeling totally unknown to me until surgery. Yup , yesterday sure was a good day...now I can start to pack for a much needed rest :-)
Yesterday we had a Doctor visit and since it is so far away, we figured lets just blow the day and shop.
I managed to get some items for some classes I am planning. Some fun things to use on decorating some T-shirts I have that are much too plain for me. Then Rich decided I needed clothes that "fit" so off to clothes shopping we went...I loath clothes shopping...well at least I did..
We started in the next size down from what I was wearing, too big...no way...so we went to the next size..it fit but...okay so we will try the next size..Holy cow!!! I haven't been in a size 14 since I was ...well about 14 LOL I have to be honest..I needed a bigger blouse because of my arms so I guess like it or not I have to research some surgery. Not that I care about the size thing. It just makes me realize that I am carrying around about 30 extra pounds of skin that at times becomes "heavy". Am I happy about the size? You betcha, a far cry from the 26. But more then that , I feel good...I feel healthy and that's what really matters. I'm not mad at the world because I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I only realize that now, just how miserable I was.
It is still a struggle, I have to watch what I eat after all, I can eat just about anything..there really are no restrictions, just the request to make good choices. So it would be easy to fall of the wagon...like with WW. The only thing different is that I have a tool that prevents me from stuffing myself. I finally know what it feels like to feel "satisfied", a feeling totally unknown to me until surgery. Yup , yesterday sure was a good day...now I can start to pack for a much needed rest :-)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Ahhhhh I remember it well
We have had a lot of new people joining the group at WLS...even in their writing you can "hear" their excitement and the anxiety of the wait.
They question how long it will take, why they have to jump through so many "hoops", it all seems so unnecessary...Gosh do I remember that feeling...I wanted to shout "Hey!! Look! I'm Obese, I have a disease...I have an addiction...I KNOW I need help , so lets do it already!!"
Yes I remember it well...I also remember asking so many questions I thought they would throw me out of the group. I remember looking at all the thin people and saying to myself "Wow!! That can be me someday...like NOW...or yesterday "LOL I also remember seeing people not so thin and listening to their daily struggles and disappointments. I remember thinking, hoping, praying that wouldn't be me. I listened to them all...the successful people and those that continued to struggle regardless of surgery. I learned from those struggles and I try to keep them very real, every day. So far I've been lucky, I have maintained my weight loss and continue to lose, although slowly now. To say I am pleased with my Journey thus far would be an understatement...I am ecstatic!!! Not because of all the compliments (although I love hearing them) but because of the way I feel...Dragging around 135 pounds was dragging an additional person 24/7 and the body was not designed to do that. Is it any wonder that my poor legs gave way? That my body started falling apart?
I was "Lucky" (don't believe it) that I carried my weight "so well". No one every guessed my true weight and I never felt it affected me. I lived a busy energetic life. People used to say "My God, you should weigh 100 pounds the way you run around." How did I stay so fat with all that energy? Now I wish I had fallen apart a lot sooner. I wish my weight gain would have "bothered" me much sooner. I was always aware of the fact that I needed to lose some weight and I did. I tried every diet known to man and some not known LOL I was always a success at losing not so great at keeping it off. So why is this so different? Because along with losing 135 pounds I also changed habits, many habits I never even knew I had. Like eating super fast, not savoring my food or tasting my food. I am a grazer...grabbing things along the way because I'm too busy to stop and eat properly....I graze no more...and I am very aware of what I eat. I deny myself NOTHING, but I make much better choices. The bonus to this change of life style and new habits is not only restored energy but Diabetes is totally gone, so is my High BP, acid reflux and the immediate need for knee surgery. By removing 400 pounds of pressure off my knees, I can keep the knees I was born with a little longer. They are still arthritic, but weight loss bought me time...painless time. I also no longer take 12 pills and 2 shots a day...Just my 5 supplements , which I gladly take. It keeps me healthy.
So to all the new people who may read this...Stay with the program, don't question how long it will be until you have surgery (we all know and share your excitement) Don't question the hoops you are asked to jump through. Because of those hoops they have found cancers as well as other undetected illness in some of us....That being a good thing, because it's treated and the weight loss process , for the most part, continues.
You may think you know which surgery you want. THINK again...I changed my mind 4 times..I wanted the Band, ended with RNY and I couldn't be happier...You never really know what you want in the beginning because you don't know the FACTs...RNY is not for everyone, neither is the BAND..They are both life time commitments and neither one is a temporary fix.
Everyone that goes before you, supports you...This is one Journey in life that you do not take alone...Remember that and Good Luck.
They question how long it will take, why they have to jump through so many "hoops", it all seems so unnecessary...Gosh do I remember that feeling...I wanted to shout "Hey!! Look! I'm Obese, I have a disease...I have an addiction...I KNOW I need help , so lets do it already!!"
Yes I remember it well...I also remember asking so many questions I thought they would throw me out of the group. I remember looking at all the thin people and saying to myself "Wow!! That can be me someday...like NOW...or yesterday "LOL I also remember seeing people not so thin and listening to their daily struggles and disappointments. I remember thinking, hoping, praying that wouldn't be me. I listened to them all...the successful people and those that continued to struggle regardless of surgery. I learned from those struggles and I try to keep them very real, every day. So far I've been lucky, I have maintained my weight loss and continue to lose, although slowly now. To say I am pleased with my Journey thus far would be an understatement...I am ecstatic!!! Not because of all the compliments (although I love hearing them) but because of the way I feel...Dragging around 135 pounds was dragging an additional person 24/7 and the body was not designed to do that. Is it any wonder that my poor legs gave way? That my body started falling apart?
I was "Lucky" (don't believe it) that I carried my weight "so well". No one every guessed my true weight and I never felt it affected me. I lived a busy energetic life. People used to say "My God, you should weigh 100 pounds the way you run around." How did I stay so fat with all that energy? Now I wish I had fallen apart a lot sooner. I wish my weight gain would have "bothered" me much sooner. I was always aware of the fact that I needed to lose some weight and I did. I tried every diet known to man and some not known LOL I was always a success at losing not so great at keeping it off. So why is this so different? Because along with losing 135 pounds I also changed habits, many habits I never even knew I had. Like eating super fast, not savoring my food or tasting my food. I am a grazer...grabbing things along the way because I'm too busy to stop and eat properly....I graze no more...and I am very aware of what I eat. I deny myself NOTHING, but I make much better choices. The bonus to this change of life style and new habits is not only restored energy but Diabetes is totally gone, so is my High BP, acid reflux and the immediate need for knee surgery. By removing 400 pounds of pressure off my knees, I can keep the knees I was born with a little longer. They are still arthritic, but weight loss bought me time...painless time. I also no longer take 12 pills and 2 shots a day...Just my 5 supplements , which I gladly take. It keeps me healthy.
So to all the new people who may read this...Stay with the program, don't question how long it will be until you have surgery (we all know and share your excitement) Don't question the hoops you are asked to jump through. Because of those hoops they have found cancers as well as other undetected illness in some of us....That being a good thing, because it's treated and the weight loss process , for the most part, continues.
You may think you know which surgery you want. THINK again...I changed my mind 4 times..I wanted the Band, ended with RNY and I couldn't be happier...You never really know what you want in the beginning because you don't know the FACTs...RNY is not for everyone, neither is the BAND..They are both life time commitments and neither one is a temporary fix.
Everyone that goes before you, supports you...This is one Journey in life that you do not take alone...Remember that and Good Luck.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thanks Doc!!!
Some of you know my story about the Cardio Cath that was done through my wrist. An experience with such nightmarish results, it's like it happened yesterday.
That procedure is normally not painful (I had two prior to that one) However the nerve pain I suffered throughout the procedure was pure torture. My arm was black for almost a month from the excessive bleeding under the skin.(Well documented) I lost the use of my fingers in that hand, which as it turns out was due to nerve damage caused by the pressure of all that blood. After hand surgery I was able to at least use the fingers but always have tingling...Now after weeks of slight pain and lots of numbness I have the worse pain I have ever felt on the other side of the hand. Thanks Doctor Mc Naulty, it should happen to you, you pompous ass.
(If anyone thinks I should be worried about defaming his character, I'm not. The truth is the truth. )
I've made a living using my hands...I never had trouble with my hands. I worked on miniatures for Gods sake. People complimented me on how nibble my fingers were...Guess it is coincidence that my fingers stopped working on the very same day that Animal decided I was "too fat" to have the procedure done any other way. I don't think so. Now I look forward to a life time of nerve pain all because some doctor wanted to make a name for himself. So why don't I sue him you ask?? For what? Is there any amount of money that will give me back what I lost? Will money take the pain away?
This is a procedure that is commonly done with no ill effects, my problem is, I begged him to stop. I told him the pain was too much and that something was wrong. He wouldn't listen because he was teaching someone. I suffered because of his ego. He will one day answer to a higher source and I hope he is held accountable for what he has done to me and Lord knows how many others...
As far as him suing me??? I welcome an opportunity to meet him in a court of law...Bring it on!!
That procedure is normally not painful (I had two prior to that one) However the nerve pain I suffered throughout the procedure was pure torture. My arm was black for almost a month from the excessive bleeding under the skin.(Well documented) I lost the use of my fingers in that hand, which as it turns out was due to nerve damage caused by the pressure of all that blood. After hand surgery I was able to at least use the fingers but always have tingling...Now after weeks of slight pain and lots of numbness I have the worse pain I have ever felt on the other side of the hand. Thanks Doctor Mc Naulty, it should happen to you, you pompous ass.
(If anyone thinks I should be worried about defaming his character, I'm not. The truth is the truth. )
I've made a living using my hands...I never had trouble with my hands. I worked on miniatures for Gods sake. People complimented me on how nibble my fingers were...Guess it is coincidence that my fingers stopped working on the very same day that Animal decided I was "too fat" to have the procedure done any other way. I don't think so. Now I look forward to a life time of nerve pain all because some doctor wanted to make a name for himself. So why don't I sue him you ask?? For what? Is there any amount of money that will give me back what I lost? Will money take the pain away?
This is a procedure that is commonly done with no ill effects, my problem is, I begged him to stop. I told him the pain was too much and that something was wrong. He wouldn't listen because he was teaching someone. I suffered because of his ego. He will one day answer to a higher source and I hope he is held accountable for what he has done to me and Lord knows how many others...
As far as him suing me??? I welcome an opportunity to meet him in a court of law...Bring it on!!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Help, I'm melting
I stepped out of the shower this morning and scared myself. I don't often gaze at myself in the mirror...Comes with years of being "fluffy" and not wanting to "see" it. I looked this morning and started laughing...like tears rolling down my cheeks laughing. I look like a candle that has seen better days...skin just melting and hanging like thick wax...Nice visual huh? Just imagine you are me. Yuck!!!
I have never been too concerned about body image....Even when I had a firm, beautiful shape (Richards words) I never wore clothes to accent it...Okay, maybe I wore thick belts to show off my 19 inch waist...but wouldn't you? Point is, there was a lot of talk about excess skin once you lost a lot of weight, but who thinks about that? I just wanted to escape from that cocoon of fat..it had hung around long enough, I was sick of the health issues it caused me and the pain in my legs...I wanted it gone.
Not that I want it back, but crap...what the heck do I do with my melted body? It looks okay in clothes and maybe I should be satisfied with that. I'm not 25 anymore, does anyone really care if I'm melting? My modeling career is long over.....
I've seen the surgery on TV...not pleasant to watch or to hear the aftermath of woman groaning in pain. They literally cut you in half, skin wise, remove a huge piece of skin and then pull the top and lower half of your body back together. Do I want that? Do I NEED that?
I wasn't the slightest bit scared of RNY surgery (while others worry about the mortality rate) well folks I'm here to tell you, the chance of infection from that reconstruction is a helluvalot more threatening then a simple RNY... I think for now I will settle for my melting body...not sure I'm in a masochistic mood...however if i ever have the desire to have my body cut then stretched back together again, I'll let you all know and pray you talk me out of it......
I have never been too concerned about body image....Even when I had a firm, beautiful shape (Richards words) I never wore clothes to accent it...Okay, maybe I wore thick belts to show off my 19 inch waist...but wouldn't you? Point is, there was a lot of talk about excess skin once you lost a lot of weight, but who thinks about that? I just wanted to escape from that cocoon of fat..it had hung around long enough, I was sick of the health issues it caused me and the pain in my legs...I wanted it gone.
Not that I want it back, but crap...what the heck do I do with my melted body? It looks okay in clothes and maybe I should be satisfied with that. I'm not 25 anymore, does anyone really care if I'm melting? My modeling career is long over.....
I've seen the surgery on TV...not pleasant to watch or to hear the aftermath of woman groaning in pain. They literally cut you in half, skin wise, remove a huge piece of skin and then pull the top and lower half of your body back together. Do I want that? Do I NEED that?
I wasn't the slightest bit scared of RNY surgery (while others worry about the mortality rate) well folks I'm here to tell you, the chance of infection from that reconstruction is a helluvalot more threatening then a simple RNY... I think for now I will settle for my melting body...not sure I'm in a masochistic mood...however if i ever have the desire to have my body cut then stretched back together again, I'll let you all know and pray you talk me out of it......
Monday, April 5, 2010
The Day after
I promised myself I would keep up with this...actually it is very cathartic and shouldn't seem like such a burden at times.
I made it through two dinner parties and managed to not only be satisfied but to also stay on program 100%..That is something to crow about.....so I shall!!
My Surf and Turf Sunday Brunch was wonderful and the Turf wasn't even necessary...Once again my Pecan encrusted Haddock was a huge hit. I just soak the fish in Buttermilk then press in crumbs I have made with "light" crackers and finely chopped pecans...not enough to worry about but enough to make it taste out of this world. Huge green salad, artichokes, some dipping sauce and a few other salads I did not eat. I did make bread (don't eat bread so I didn't care) and the dessert was totally low cal ( didn't have that either cuz I could hardly move)..Lots of laughter and good conversation.
Later on I got to speak to a very dear friend we call Mother Mary, some of you may remember her from the fabric portrait I did. She had fallen and broken her hip back in Feb. It was so good to hear her joyful voice. She sounded so happy and contented (that's just the way she is) my friends Tom and Debbie are certainly doing a wonderful job as caretakers.
When we talk in group, Mother Mary always comes to mind when we talk about life changing events. She is my proof and should be an inspiration to all...that even after over 50 years of an addiction..through commitment and strength and support, you can over come anything and totally turn your life around. She is not only a wonderful human being and joy to anyone that knows her...but she is my inspiration that nothing is impossible as long as you believe.
So for those of you who are trying to quit smoking, trying to lose weight or fighting any other addiction...believe in yourself and know there is a better life waiting...
I made it through two dinner parties and managed to not only be satisfied but to also stay on program 100%..That is something to crow about.....so I shall!!
My Surf and Turf Sunday Brunch was wonderful and the Turf wasn't even necessary...Once again my Pecan encrusted Haddock was a huge hit. I just soak the fish in Buttermilk then press in crumbs I have made with "light" crackers and finely chopped pecans...not enough to worry about but enough to make it taste out of this world. Huge green salad, artichokes, some dipping sauce and a few other salads I did not eat. I did make bread (don't eat bread so I didn't care) and the dessert was totally low cal ( didn't have that either cuz I could hardly move)..Lots of laughter and good conversation.
Later on I got to speak to a very dear friend we call Mother Mary, some of you may remember her from the fabric portrait I did. She had fallen and broken her hip back in Feb. It was so good to hear her joyful voice. She sounded so happy and contented (that's just the way she is) my friends Tom and Debbie are certainly doing a wonderful job as caretakers.
When we talk in group, Mother Mary always comes to mind when we talk about life changing events. She is my proof and should be an inspiration to all...that even after over 50 years of an addiction..through commitment and strength and support, you can over come anything and totally turn your life around. She is not only a wonderful human being and joy to anyone that knows her...but she is my inspiration that nothing is impossible as long as you believe.
So for those of you who are trying to quit smoking, trying to lose weight or fighting any other addiction...believe in yourself and know there is a better life waiting...
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter
These are the times I miss small children. Mind you I don't miss them often , but this is one of those times LOL
I remember the excitement of Easter morning when I was a child...I would find this wonderful big basket full of all kinds of goodies. As I got older it came down to a new outfit for church and a chocolate bunny. For my own kids I hid eggs all over the house and filled baskets with little toys, puzzles and coloring books. It was a happy day and a big food day. The family would gather around our big dining table and celebrate...That time has passed..half of that family has passed and we are far away from our children and grandchildren. Funny how life changes...We had two Easters up here with Krista and it brought back old memories. We just had our Grandson prior to Easter so we got to enjoy some laughter...But this day will never be quite the same as it once was. There will be no egg hunt and no children laughing...I miss that.
We will however share the day with friends, also separated from their kids and grand kids...so there will be laughter.
I do hope everyone enjoys this day and if you have small children, treasure the moments because they fade quickly.
Happy Easter Everyone!!!
I remember the excitement of Easter morning when I was a child...I would find this wonderful big basket full of all kinds of goodies. As I got older it came down to a new outfit for church and a chocolate bunny. For my own kids I hid eggs all over the house and filled baskets with little toys, puzzles and coloring books. It was a happy day and a big food day. The family would gather around our big dining table and celebrate...That time has passed..half of that family has passed and we are far away from our children and grandchildren. Funny how life changes...We had two Easters up here with Krista and it brought back old memories. We just had our Grandson prior to Easter so we got to enjoy some laughter...But this day will never be quite the same as it once was. There will be no egg hunt and no children laughing...I miss that.
We will however share the day with friends, also separated from their kids and grand kids...so there will be laughter.
I do hope everyone enjoys this day and if you have small children, treasure the moments because they fade quickly.
Happy Easter Everyone!!!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
What a week it was!!!
It has been absolutely crazy around here. Seems like we go for long dry spells where everything is the same (SSDD) and then all at once life is busy, full of highs and lows, tears and joy...It's like a big bowl of soup..one days it's almost empty and another day it's full of all sorts of stuff...
This weeks bowl was full...Rich decided I had been held captive long enough, this winter was miserable with both of us sharing one vehicle. I had meetings, functions and a business to get to and he just likes being able to get in his truck and go...Sooo we went out looking for a true 4X4, that would be a vehicle with a locking differential, something they don't seem to be making much of anymore, unless you go for a truck. There are 4X4's but not REAL ones like I need..We've tried the "wanna be's" and the all wheel...Our driveway is just to darned steep . So after much pondering about affordability and needs vs. wants...I ended up with a Jeep Liberty, one of the few Jeeps that are true 4x4's. It is perhaps the first car I have had that I designed from scratch to include everything I want in a vehicle...I didn't settle. So all in all it was a happy experience. I did love my HHR, but it isn't a winter car.
In between that adventure my Grandson paid a visit and brought his MOM LOL..He is growing up so fast and the visit was so enjoyable. he is learning to control himself better . What a pleasure to be able to enjoy his company. I never thought we'd see the day when he would go...willingly...to a sushi restaurant but he did and actually had a good time...as he put it," it was awesome!!!" and it was. They heard it was his birthday so they made a big fuss over him with a special dessert and a silk robe so he could have his picture taken for their "Wall". Needless to say he was very excited.
One day we all went "Easter" shopping, he got Rollerblades and helped me pick out stuff out for Krista...That was also a fun day. We even got to eat in Wegmans..truly an adventure for a child that doesn't eat very much (no meat at all).
My busy week left me very little time for posting here....But hopefully time management will get better. It's not like I'm not trying LOL I can actually walk in my studio...no kidding. A clean studio is the sign of a sick mind...Guess I'm as healthy as you could hope for LOL It will never be totally organized, I'm too busy for that, but it is Nice to know where stuff is.
Gosh I think back to a few years ago when all of this activity would have been impossible and now...well life is very exciting.
Marilynn and I are getting ready for our Paducah pilgrimage LOL It is a much needed break for both of us...It's been one helluva year.
For those of you who have had the same trouble with eggs as I have (for my WL group) mainly we don't tolerate them. I used egg beaters and what ever they have removed is what made me sick because I am now able to look forward to my scrabbled eggs once again...Thanks to my friend Debbie, I can even make them right LOL
Happy Easter everyone!!!
This weeks bowl was full...Rich decided I had been held captive long enough, this winter was miserable with both of us sharing one vehicle. I had meetings, functions and a business to get to and he just likes being able to get in his truck and go...Sooo we went out looking for a true 4X4, that would be a vehicle with a locking differential, something they don't seem to be making much of anymore, unless you go for a truck. There are 4X4's but not REAL ones like I need..We've tried the "wanna be's" and the all wheel...Our driveway is just to darned steep . So after much pondering about affordability and needs vs. wants...I ended up with a Jeep Liberty, one of the few Jeeps that are true 4x4's. It is perhaps the first car I have had that I designed from scratch to include everything I want in a vehicle...I didn't settle. So all in all it was a happy experience. I did love my HHR, but it isn't a winter car.
In between that adventure my Grandson paid a visit and brought his MOM LOL..He is growing up so fast and the visit was so enjoyable. he is learning to control himself better . What a pleasure to be able to enjoy his company. I never thought we'd see the day when he would go...willingly...to a sushi restaurant but he did and actually had a good time...as he put it," it was awesome!!!" and it was. They heard it was his birthday so they made a big fuss over him with a special dessert and a silk robe so he could have his picture taken for their "Wall". Needless to say he was very excited.
One day we all went "Easter" shopping, he got Rollerblades and helped me pick out stuff out for Krista...That was also a fun day. We even got to eat in Wegmans..truly an adventure for a child that doesn't eat very much (no meat at all).
My busy week left me very little time for posting here....But hopefully time management will get better. It's not like I'm not trying LOL I can actually walk in my studio...no kidding. A clean studio is the sign of a sick mind...Guess I'm as healthy as you could hope for LOL It will never be totally organized, I'm too busy for that, but it is Nice to know where stuff is.
Gosh I think back to a few years ago when all of this activity would have been impossible and now...well life is very exciting.
Marilynn and I are getting ready for our Paducah pilgrimage LOL It is a much needed break for both of us...It's been one helluva year.
For those of you who have had the same trouble with eggs as I have (for my WL group) mainly we don't tolerate them. I used egg beaters and what ever they have removed is what made me sick because I am now able to look forward to my scrabbled eggs once again...Thanks to my friend Debbie, I can even make them right LOL
Happy Easter everyone!!!
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