With so many new people in the group, it has been so much fun sharing their excitement.
It brings me back to those days where there was so much to think about, so much to learn and then there was the suspense; will I or won't I make the grade and will my insurance company approve this surgery? The months seemed to fly by and then suddenly there I was in the OR about to change my life forever.
Many , many things have changed since those days more then two years ago. Yes I've lost one entire person (two kids LOL) and yes I have increased energy, I'm in a smaller size....all the obvious things that come with weight loss, but we seldom praise all the NSV's (None scale victories) So for all the new people I want to share a few of my exciting moments so you can reflect upon change you don't even expect .
You are about to see your feet when you look down, yes, without bending forward.The first time I tied my own shoes and cut my own toenails was like I won a million dollars. BTW even your shoes start to fall off when you lose weight. Who knew? probably the most difficult thing for me was size transition. When I moved from the Misses Dept. Into "normal" sizes, a place I hadn't visited in years. When my friend handed me a sweater in "L" I said "No way", plus it was very inexpensive (they never fit). Imagine my joy when that sweater fit. I can't even begin to tell you how I felt the first time I got a compliment on my "beautiful sweater", the one that cost me $5. WooHooo!
Then there is the seat belt issue. Some cars have rather snug seat belts. Really, they are designed for only size 4 people, or so I thought. The first time you get in someone elses car and hitch up that belt and it's comfortable, is a landmark event. It's the same feeling when you can walk into a Diner without fearing that they will put you in a booth. Now instead of booths being too snug, I complain about the table being too far away...Oh the joy of it all!!
I was happy to finally be able to walk without a cane. Happy that my knee pain no longer brought me to tears. For every pound you lose, you lose 4 pounds of pressure on your knees, meaning I lost over 400 pounds of pressure...can you hear them saying aaaaahhhhh? There are those of us who went from hardly walking to marathon racing, can you even imagine that?
Your whole attitude towards food changes, so even the food isn't a problem unless you let old habits sneak in. That's what the group is all about. When you need help, when you feel like you are about to fall off the wagon...one of us will always be there.
You will experience all the little changes I have mentioned, and more. Thanks for sharing your excitement with us. The longer we drift away from our surgery date, the more we need to reflect on our new life and all the change. I personally would not do that, if it weren't for you sharing your joy and forcing me to "Remember when"....
My Hidden Treasure
Friday, October 29, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Busy Days
I do hope if any New Butterflies check here, that they go to the beginning of this Blog. That follows my surgery and can give some idea of what to expect.
From Oct. to the end of Dec. I am consumed by activity. It is even worse this year because I also have therapy and other doctor visits (not related to my surgery) thrown into the mix.Oh and something else that I'm working on that I cannot even go into at the moment....
Marilynn and I are having a Christmas Boutique which is keeping me even more busy then usual (is that even possible?)
So forgive me if, for a while, my thoughts are scattered and messages are brief.
Things always slow down comes Jan. LOL But I will continue to post here, just to keep you all up to date (because I'm so prompt at e-mail ugh!)
At least there is a place where friends can come a check up on me :-) and some actually do. That amazes me...
From Oct. to the end of Dec. I am consumed by activity. It is even worse this year because I also have therapy and other doctor visits (not related to my surgery) thrown into the mix.Oh and something else that I'm working on that I cannot even go into at the moment....
Marilynn and I are having a Christmas Boutique which is keeping me even more busy then usual (is that even possible?)
So forgive me if, for a while, my thoughts are scattered and messages are brief.
Things always slow down comes Jan. LOL But I will continue to post here, just to keep you all up to date (because I'm so prompt at e-mail ugh!)
At least there is a place where friends can come a check up on me :-) and some actually do. That amazes me...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thank you Dear Friend
My Father once told me "Honey, friends are like rare jewels, if you find ONE in your life, consider yourself very blessed"... I didn't quite understand what he said, when he said it. I was young and thought everyone was a friend. Strangers were just friends I hadn't met yet.
Now that I am older and a bit wiser, I realize my Dad meant TRUE friends are very rare indeed
I have a friend who picked up on some things I've said, things I'm sure went over most peoples heads...but not hers. She was quick to write me and even faster at reminding me of some of the good I've done. Some of the lives I've touched and some of the hearts I've entered. She didn't write to puff me up with false accolades , she wrote to remind me of things I had long forgotten.
I do not commit good deeds to memory. When I help someone, I do it from my heart not to keep score. I have spent my entire life trying to bring happiness to others. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail miserably, but I never stop trying.
I have been very lucky, I do indeed have a few fabulous TRUE friends, they are the jewels my Dad spoke of, this particular friend is the brightest jewel of all...not my oldest friend,(but we do go back a ways) but one who has supported me in EVERYTHING, I've ever done. One who could see pain when others couldn't, one who could feel the heart break, when others were totally unaware, one who never stops reminding me of my successes. She knows who she is and I thank her, not only for having a memory far better then my own, but for always being able to find the words to lift me up from the dark into a brighter and happier place... I love you dear friend and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
Now that I am older and a bit wiser, I realize my Dad meant TRUE friends are very rare indeed
I have a friend who picked up on some things I've said, things I'm sure went over most peoples heads...but not hers. She was quick to write me and even faster at reminding me of some of the good I've done. Some of the lives I've touched and some of the hearts I've entered. She didn't write to puff me up with false accolades , she wrote to remind me of things I had long forgotten.
I do not commit good deeds to memory. When I help someone, I do it from my heart not to keep score. I have spent my entire life trying to bring happiness to others. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail miserably, but I never stop trying.
I have been very lucky, I do indeed have a few fabulous TRUE friends, they are the jewels my Dad spoke of, this particular friend is the brightest jewel of all...not my oldest friend,(but we do go back a ways) but one who has supported me in EVERYTHING, I've ever done. One who could see pain when others couldn't, one who could feel the heart break, when others were totally unaware, one who never stops reminding me of my successes. She knows who she is and I thank her, not only for having a memory far better then my own, but for always being able to find the words to lift me up from the dark into a brighter and happier place... I love you dear friend and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Animal friends
I don't think there is anything in this world that gives me more pleasure then spending time with my animals. Even as a small child I remember watching cows, horses, chicken, dogs, cats and birds... I mean REALLY watching...watching how the reacted towards each other, their old, their young and other critters not like them. I remember thinking that people could sure learn a lot from them.
Someone once said that we tend to "humanize" animals. I agree that some people go too far with the coats and hats and shoes for pets...But in the grand picture, we too are animals and I'm sure there are few in the kingdom that would appreciate being humanized....In the human world, like in any animal world, we labor hard to provide food and shelter for our families. There are few animals that kill for sport except humans. There are few animals that will wage war for a strip of land, but humans will. Oh I could go on and on, but you get the picture...we just Ain't that GREAT as far as animals go. We are greedy and selfish and conceded. We have more flaws then any other animal on the planet and even now as an adult, I think we could learn a great deal, if we took the time to watch and learn.
I observed my horses this morning. It has rained for the past two days so the little goats haven't gone out. They are not fond of rain. The horses on the other hand, like it outside, no matter what the weather, although the did come in for a while because of the heavy rains yesterday.
This morning I put everyone outside, it was windy, but no rain. The little goats cried to come back in until Emma nudged Harley with her nose...he followed and of course Jake didn't want to be alone so he followed behind them. Once they were all down in the pasture everyone stopped to eat, Emma slowly walked along, looking back at the goats...finally she started to run and they ran with her. She'd stop, they'd stop, she'd run they'd run. It was her way of exercising them. I've watched her behavior before and this was a first since Blizzy passed. Emma used to run the little goats also. Not that she doesn't run when she is alone, but when she does she really runs the distance, something she doesn't do with the goats. With them she runs at their speed, not hers. She knows as long as she stays in the pasture they will stay with her. Normally she will come up to the barn in the afternoon, but not when she has the goats. She will bring them up this evening when it's time to go in for the night. I watch in awe how well they get along, so very different in looks, weight and needs...yet both horses take an active roll in training them.
I think we could learn a great deal about getting along from our fellow animals....but will we?
Someone once said that we tend to "humanize" animals. I agree that some people go too far with the coats and hats and shoes for pets...But in the grand picture, we too are animals and I'm sure there are few in the kingdom that would appreciate being humanized....In the human world, like in any animal world, we labor hard to provide food and shelter for our families. There are few animals that kill for sport except humans. There are few animals that will wage war for a strip of land, but humans will. Oh I could go on and on, but you get the picture...we just Ain't that GREAT as far as animals go. We are greedy and selfish and conceded. We have more flaws then any other animal on the planet and even now as an adult, I think we could learn a great deal, if we took the time to watch and learn.
I observed my horses this morning. It has rained for the past two days so the little goats haven't gone out. They are not fond of rain. The horses on the other hand, like it outside, no matter what the weather, although the did come in for a while because of the heavy rains yesterday.
This morning I put everyone outside, it was windy, but no rain. The little goats cried to come back in until Emma nudged Harley with her nose...he followed and of course Jake didn't want to be alone so he followed behind them. Once they were all down in the pasture everyone stopped to eat, Emma slowly walked along, looking back at the goats...finally she started to run and they ran with her. She'd stop, they'd stop, she'd run they'd run. It was her way of exercising them. I've watched her behavior before and this was a first since Blizzy passed. Emma used to run the little goats also. Not that she doesn't run when she is alone, but when she does she really runs the distance, something she doesn't do with the goats. With them she runs at their speed, not hers. She knows as long as she stays in the pasture they will stay with her. Normally she will come up to the barn in the afternoon, but not when she has the goats. She will bring them up this evening when it's time to go in for the night. I watch in awe how well they get along, so very different in looks, weight and needs...yet both horses take an active roll in training them.
I think we could learn a great deal about getting along from our fellow animals....but will we?
Friday, October 15, 2010
What a wonderful 2 Years it has been
Yup, as of yesterday it has been 2 years since I had RNY gastric By-pass. In the begining it was just speculation and my own positive frame of mind that made me think of all the wonders this surgery would bring...Now two years later, it has all happened.
I did not enter into this surgery mindlessly or for vanity purposes. I gave it a great deal (years) worth of thought and research. Of course when my Orthopedic surgeon mentioned it in conjuction with knee surgery, pain etc. I took a closer look.
Originally wanting the Band I am not at all sorry I opted for RNY instead. As always their was this little angel on my shoulder that guided me in the right direction. It was the correct surgery for me, no doubt about it.
To this day I still can not eat more then a certain amount. There is no way to trick it, or flush food through..it is what it is...a very small stomach. Grazing? Because of being thinner and more active , I have very little time for grazing. Nights are the worst so that is when I must plan for. Since I do not eat my required calories through out the day, I have a few to play with at night..Thats when I eat my ice pop and sometimes nibble of cheese or perhaps my dehydrated string beans. Lets just say when I do snack, I eat well.
I lost most of my weight very fast, I've maintained the weight loss for a year (something I've never done) and now that my foot is better and I can walk, I hope to lose more weight through exercise. The point is , I'm healthy. I'm sure I've added years to my life by dropping the excess weight.
Then there is my group. I have been able to observe the success and failures. I know in my heart what caused each to happen, basically because I know the people. I am a person who does indeed learn by other peoples mistakes. Staying connected to the group has helped a great deal.
The Butterfly Project has also helped , not only does it keep me busy, but seeing it all come together and sustain itself has filled my heart with joy and given me a mission. While the use of the Butterfly as a symbol of rebirth has been used for centuries, the use of the Butterfly as a splint pillow was my undertaking, something I am very proud of because of the happiness it has brought to others. I hope each of my volunteers shares in that joy, because without them this project could not survive...it is much bigger then one person could ever handle.
So I look back with a smile at the past two years and see nothing but success...I know I will be saying that 4 , 10, 20 years from now, because I love my life now and I want it to stay. Of course I could die in the mean time, but it won't be from Obesity related problems.
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Butterfly Birthday dear Kathie, happy birthday to me...
I did not enter into this surgery mindlessly or for vanity purposes. I gave it a great deal (years) worth of thought and research. Of course when my Orthopedic surgeon mentioned it in conjuction with knee surgery, pain etc. I took a closer look.
Originally wanting the Band I am not at all sorry I opted for RNY instead. As always their was this little angel on my shoulder that guided me in the right direction. It was the correct surgery for me, no doubt about it.
To this day I still can not eat more then a certain amount. There is no way to trick it, or flush food through..it is what it is...a very small stomach. Grazing? Because of being thinner and more active , I have very little time for grazing. Nights are the worst so that is when I must plan for. Since I do not eat my required calories through out the day, I have a few to play with at night..Thats when I eat my ice pop and sometimes nibble of cheese or perhaps my dehydrated string beans. Lets just say when I do snack, I eat well.
I lost most of my weight very fast, I've maintained the weight loss for a year (something I've never done) and now that my foot is better and I can walk, I hope to lose more weight through exercise. The point is , I'm healthy. I'm sure I've added years to my life by dropping the excess weight.
Then there is my group. I have been able to observe the success and failures. I know in my heart what caused each to happen, basically because I know the people. I am a person who does indeed learn by other peoples mistakes. Staying connected to the group has helped a great deal.
The Butterfly Project has also helped , not only does it keep me busy, but seeing it all come together and sustain itself has filled my heart with joy and given me a mission. While the use of the Butterfly as a symbol of rebirth has been used for centuries, the use of the Butterfly as a splint pillow was my undertaking, something I am very proud of because of the happiness it has brought to others. I hope each of my volunteers shares in that joy, because without them this project could not survive...it is much bigger then one person could ever handle.
So I look back with a smile at the past two years and see nothing but success...I know I will be saying that 4 , 10, 20 years from now, because I love my life now and I want it to stay. Of course I could die in the mean time, but it won't be from Obesity related problems.
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Butterfly Birthday dear Kathie, happy birthday to me...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Time moves on
One day just seems to roll right into the next and when your busy, it rolls even faster.
I finally went to see my doctor, figured since I fell she might as well look me over and I could then explain some other feelings.
She wanted to send me for an MRI thinking I, in all probability, tore my rotator cuff. Since I wouldn't have it surgically fixed anyway, I told her I'd pass. My knee was swollen and she said if the fluid built up I'd have to have it drained, that I probably twisted it. Then I told her about other things and she told me I was clinically depressed..HUH??? Me depressed? How the hell does that happen?
She said it's fairly common with Bariatric patience...they go through an invincible time ...when they think they can conquer the world with their new found strength and energy. A dear friend described it as "like a religion" ...I realize I have been consumed with the program, the WL and the people I've met...I also realize I can not help them, if I can not help myself...So I have to prioritize and make it all about me for a while.
That really is not my nature...I have spent my life caring more about others, trying in my own silly way to make the world a better place. It really hasn't worked LOL and most people probably haven't even noticed my efforts...meanwhile I have fallen apart.
I am making strides to change things, baby steps that will set me back on the right track.
We are told in the very beginning that while this surgery will be a life altering event, there are certain things that will always remain the same. It is not a cure all. being thinner does not change every aspect of my life and, at times, creates situations that wouldn't exist otherwise..
People opinions will change, there will be some jealousy, some concerns and trust me, you REALLY learn who your friends are.
This is not only a WL experience, it is a LIFE experience that makes changes that will last forever...even if you gain all the weight back, because there are things you will NEVER be able to change once they happen.
My doctor finished up my exam by telling me how proud she was of me..She has seen many Bariatric patients and by this time there is usually signs of weight gain (sometimes as much as 40 pounds) I have maintained my WL for 2 years and for that I am grateful. I will deal with the depression with the help of my doctor and my friends (true friends that have stuck by me through the worst of times) I can also add this to the list of things I have learned to recognize and hopefully down the line will be able to help someone else.
I finally went to see my doctor, figured since I fell she might as well look me over and I could then explain some other feelings.
She wanted to send me for an MRI thinking I, in all probability, tore my rotator cuff. Since I wouldn't have it surgically fixed anyway, I told her I'd pass. My knee was swollen and she said if the fluid built up I'd have to have it drained, that I probably twisted it. Then I told her about other things and she told me I was clinically depressed..HUH??? Me depressed? How the hell does that happen?
She said it's fairly common with Bariatric patience...they go through an invincible time ...when they think they can conquer the world with their new found strength and energy. A dear friend described it as "like a religion" ...I realize I have been consumed with the program, the WL and the people I've met...I also realize I can not help them, if I can not help myself...So I have to prioritize and make it all about me for a while.
That really is not my nature...I have spent my life caring more about others, trying in my own silly way to make the world a better place. It really hasn't worked LOL and most people probably haven't even noticed my efforts...meanwhile I have fallen apart.
I am making strides to change things, baby steps that will set me back on the right track.
We are told in the very beginning that while this surgery will be a life altering event, there are certain things that will always remain the same. It is not a cure all. being thinner does not change every aspect of my life and, at times, creates situations that wouldn't exist otherwise..
People opinions will change, there will be some jealousy, some concerns and trust me, you REALLY learn who your friends are.
This is not only a WL experience, it is a LIFE experience that makes changes that will last forever...even if you gain all the weight back, because there are things you will NEVER be able to change once they happen.
My doctor finished up my exam by telling me how proud she was of me..She has seen many Bariatric patients and by this time there is usually signs of weight gain (sometimes as much as 40 pounds) I have maintained my WL for 2 years and for that I am grateful. I will deal with the depression with the help of my doctor and my friends (true friends that have stuck by me through the worst of times) I can also add this to the list of things I have learned to recognize and hopefully down the line will be able to help someone else.
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