I do hope if any New Butterflies check here, that they go to the beginning of this Blog. That follows my surgery and can give some idea of what to expect.
From Oct. to the end of Dec. I am consumed by activity. It is even worse this year because I also have therapy and other doctor visits (not related to my surgery) thrown into the mix.Oh and something else that I'm working on that I cannot even go into at the moment....
Marilynn and I are having a Christmas Boutique which is keeping me even more busy then usual (is that even possible?)
So forgive me if, for a while, my thoughts are scattered and messages are brief.
Things always slow down comes Jan. LOL But I will continue to post here, just to keep you all up to date (because I'm so prompt at e-mail ugh!)
At least there is a place where friends can come a check up on me :-) and some actually do. That amazes me...
My Hidden Treasure
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thank you Dear Friend
My Father once told me "Honey, friends are like rare jewels, if you find ONE in your life, consider yourself very blessed"... I didn't quite understand what he said, when he said it. I was young and thought everyone was a friend. Strangers were just friends I hadn't met yet.
Now that I am older and a bit wiser, I realize my Dad meant TRUE friends are very rare indeed
I have a friend who picked up on some things I've said, things I'm sure went over most peoples heads...but not hers. She was quick to write me and even faster at reminding me of some of the good I've done. Some of the lives I've touched and some of the hearts I've entered. She didn't write to puff me up with false accolades , she wrote to remind me of things I had long forgotten.
I do not commit good deeds to memory. When I help someone, I do it from my heart not to keep score. I have spent my entire life trying to bring happiness to others. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail miserably, but I never stop trying.
I have been very lucky, I do indeed have a few fabulous TRUE friends, they are the jewels my Dad spoke of, this particular friend is the brightest jewel of all...not my oldest friend,(but we do go back a ways) but one who has supported me in EVERYTHING, I've ever done. One who could see pain when others couldn't, one who could feel the heart break, when others were totally unaware, one who never stops reminding me of my successes. She knows who she is and I thank her, not only for having a memory far better then my own, but for always being able to find the words to lift me up from the dark into a brighter and happier place... I love you dear friend and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
Now that I am older and a bit wiser, I realize my Dad meant TRUE friends are very rare indeed
I have a friend who picked up on some things I've said, things I'm sure went over most peoples heads...but not hers. She was quick to write me and even faster at reminding me of some of the good I've done. Some of the lives I've touched and some of the hearts I've entered. She didn't write to puff me up with false accolades , she wrote to remind me of things I had long forgotten.
I do not commit good deeds to memory. When I help someone, I do it from my heart not to keep score. I have spent my entire life trying to bring happiness to others. Sometimes I succeed and other times I fail miserably, but I never stop trying.
I have been very lucky, I do indeed have a few fabulous TRUE friends, they are the jewels my Dad spoke of, this particular friend is the brightest jewel of all...not my oldest friend,(but we do go back a ways) but one who has supported me in EVERYTHING, I've ever done. One who could see pain when others couldn't, one who could feel the heart break, when others were totally unaware, one who never stops reminding me of my successes. She knows who she is and I thank her, not only for having a memory far better then my own, but for always being able to find the words to lift me up from the dark into a brighter and happier place... I love you dear friend and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Animal friends
I don't think there is anything in this world that gives me more pleasure then spending time with my animals. Even as a small child I remember watching cows, horses, chicken, dogs, cats and birds... I mean REALLY watching...watching how the reacted towards each other, their old, their young and other critters not like them. I remember thinking that people could sure learn a lot from them.
Someone once said that we tend to "humanize" animals. I agree that some people go too far with the coats and hats and shoes for pets...But in the grand picture, we too are animals and I'm sure there are few in the kingdom that would appreciate being humanized....In the human world, like in any animal world, we labor hard to provide food and shelter for our families. There are few animals that kill for sport except humans. There are few animals that will wage war for a strip of land, but humans will. Oh I could go on and on, but you get the picture...we just Ain't that GREAT as far as animals go. We are greedy and selfish and conceded. We have more flaws then any other animal on the planet and even now as an adult, I think we could learn a great deal, if we took the time to watch and learn.
I observed my horses this morning. It has rained for the past two days so the little goats haven't gone out. They are not fond of rain. The horses on the other hand, like it outside, no matter what the weather, although the did come in for a while because of the heavy rains yesterday.
This morning I put everyone outside, it was windy, but no rain. The little goats cried to come back in until Emma nudged Harley with her nose...he followed and of course Jake didn't want to be alone so he followed behind them. Once they were all down in the pasture everyone stopped to eat, Emma slowly walked along, looking back at the goats...finally she started to run and they ran with her. She'd stop, they'd stop, she'd run they'd run. It was her way of exercising them. I've watched her behavior before and this was a first since Blizzy passed. Emma used to run the little goats also. Not that she doesn't run when she is alone, but when she does she really runs the distance, something she doesn't do with the goats. With them she runs at their speed, not hers. She knows as long as she stays in the pasture they will stay with her. Normally she will come up to the barn in the afternoon, but not when she has the goats. She will bring them up this evening when it's time to go in for the night. I watch in awe how well they get along, so very different in looks, weight and needs...yet both horses take an active roll in training them.
I think we could learn a great deal about getting along from our fellow animals....but will we?
Someone once said that we tend to "humanize" animals. I agree that some people go too far with the coats and hats and shoes for pets...But in the grand picture, we too are animals and I'm sure there are few in the kingdom that would appreciate being humanized....In the human world, like in any animal world, we labor hard to provide food and shelter for our families. There are few animals that kill for sport except humans. There are few animals that will wage war for a strip of land, but humans will. Oh I could go on and on, but you get the picture...we just Ain't that GREAT as far as animals go. We are greedy and selfish and conceded. We have more flaws then any other animal on the planet and even now as an adult, I think we could learn a great deal, if we took the time to watch and learn.
I observed my horses this morning. It has rained for the past two days so the little goats haven't gone out. They are not fond of rain. The horses on the other hand, like it outside, no matter what the weather, although the did come in for a while because of the heavy rains yesterday.
This morning I put everyone outside, it was windy, but no rain. The little goats cried to come back in until Emma nudged Harley with her nose...he followed and of course Jake didn't want to be alone so he followed behind them. Once they were all down in the pasture everyone stopped to eat, Emma slowly walked along, looking back at the goats...finally she started to run and they ran with her. She'd stop, they'd stop, she'd run they'd run. It was her way of exercising them. I've watched her behavior before and this was a first since Blizzy passed. Emma used to run the little goats also. Not that she doesn't run when she is alone, but when she does she really runs the distance, something she doesn't do with the goats. With them she runs at their speed, not hers. She knows as long as she stays in the pasture they will stay with her. Normally she will come up to the barn in the afternoon, but not when she has the goats. She will bring them up this evening when it's time to go in for the night. I watch in awe how well they get along, so very different in looks, weight and needs...yet both horses take an active roll in training them.
I think we could learn a great deal about getting along from our fellow animals....but will we?
Friday, October 15, 2010
What a wonderful 2 Years it has been
Yup, as of yesterday it has been 2 years since I had RNY gastric By-pass. In the begining it was just speculation and my own positive frame of mind that made me think of all the wonders this surgery would bring...Now two years later, it has all happened.
I did not enter into this surgery mindlessly or for vanity purposes. I gave it a great deal (years) worth of thought and research. Of course when my Orthopedic surgeon mentioned it in conjuction with knee surgery, pain etc. I took a closer look.
Originally wanting the Band I am not at all sorry I opted for RNY instead. As always their was this little angel on my shoulder that guided me in the right direction. It was the correct surgery for me, no doubt about it.
To this day I still can not eat more then a certain amount. There is no way to trick it, or flush food through..it is what it is...a very small stomach. Grazing? Because of being thinner and more active , I have very little time for grazing. Nights are the worst so that is when I must plan for. Since I do not eat my required calories through out the day, I have a few to play with at night..Thats when I eat my ice pop and sometimes nibble of cheese or perhaps my dehydrated string beans. Lets just say when I do snack, I eat well.
I lost most of my weight very fast, I've maintained the weight loss for a year (something I've never done) and now that my foot is better and I can walk, I hope to lose more weight through exercise. The point is , I'm healthy. I'm sure I've added years to my life by dropping the excess weight.
Then there is my group. I have been able to observe the success and failures. I know in my heart what caused each to happen, basically because I know the people. I am a person who does indeed learn by other peoples mistakes. Staying connected to the group has helped a great deal.
The Butterfly Project has also helped , not only does it keep me busy, but seeing it all come together and sustain itself has filled my heart with joy and given me a mission. While the use of the Butterfly as a symbol of rebirth has been used for centuries, the use of the Butterfly as a splint pillow was my undertaking, something I am very proud of because of the happiness it has brought to others. I hope each of my volunteers shares in that joy, because without them this project could not survive...it is much bigger then one person could ever handle.
So I look back with a smile at the past two years and see nothing but success...I know I will be saying that 4 , 10, 20 years from now, because I love my life now and I want it to stay. Of course I could die in the mean time, but it won't be from Obesity related problems.
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Butterfly Birthday dear Kathie, happy birthday to me...
I did not enter into this surgery mindlessly or for vanity purposes. I gave it a great deal (years) worth of thought and research. Of course when my Orthopedic surgeon mentioned it in conjuction with knee surgery, pain etc. I took a closer look.
Originally wanting the Band I am not at all sorry I opted for RNY instead. As always their was this little angel on my shoulder that guided me in the right direction. It was the correct surgery for me, no doubt about it.
To this day I still can not eat more then a certain amount. There is no way to trick it, or flush food through..it is what it is...a very small stomach. Grazing? Because of being thinner and more active , I have very little time for grazing. Nights are the worst so that is when I must plan for. Since I do not eat my required calories through out the day, I have a few to play with at night..Thats when I eat my ice pop and sometimes nibble of cheese or perhaps my dehydrated string beans. Lets just say when I do snack, I eat well.
I lost most of my weight very fast, I've maintained the weight loss for a year (something I've never done) and now that my foot is better and I can walk, I hope to lose more weight through exercise. The point is , I'm healthy. I'm sure I've added years to my life by dropping the excess weight.
Then there is my group. I have been able to observe the success and failures. I know in my heart what caused each to happen, basically because I know the people. I am a person who does indeed learn by other peoples mistakes. Staying connected to the group has helped a great deal.
The Butterfly Project has also helped , not only does it keep me busy, but seeing it all come together and sustain itself has filled my heart with joy and given me a mission. While the use of the Butterfly as a symbol of rebirth has been used for centuries, the use of the Butterfly as a splint pillow was my undertaking, something I am very proud of because of the happiness it has brought to others. I hope each of my volunteers shares in that joy, because without them this project could not survive...it is much bigger then one person could ever handle.
So I look back with a smile at the past two years and see nothing but success...I know I will be saying that 4 , 10, 20 years from now, because I love my life now and I want it to stay. Of course I could die in the mean time, but it won't be from Obesity related problems.
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Butterfly Birthday dear Kathie, happy birthday to me...
Friday, October 1, 2010
Time moves on
One day just seems to roll right into the next and when your busy, it rolls even faster.
I finally went to see my doctor, figured since I fell she might as well look me over and I could then explain some other feelings.
She wanted to send me for an MRI thinking I, in all probability, tore my rotator cuff. Since I wouldn't have it surgically fixed anyway, I told her I'd pass. My knee was swollen and she said if the fluid built up I'd have to have it drained, that I probably twisted it. Then I told her about other things and she told me I was clinically depressed..HUH??? Me depressed? How the hell does that happen?
She said it's fairly common with Bariatric patience...they go through an invincible time ...when they think they can conquer the world with their new found strength and energy. A dear friend described it as "like a religion" ...I realize I have been consumed with the program, the WL and the people I've met...I also realize I can not help them, if I can not help myself...So I have to prioritize and make it all about me for a while.
That really is not my nature...I have spent my life caring more about others, trying in my own silly way to make the world a better place. It really hasn't worked LOL and most people probably haven't even noticed my efforts...meanwhile I have fallen apart.
I am making strides to change things, baby steps that will set me back on the right track.
We are told in the very beginning that while this surgery will be a life altering event, there are certain things that will always remain the same. It is not a cure all. being thinner does not change every aspect of my life and, at times, creates situations that wouldn't exist otherwise..
People opinions will change, there will be some jealousy, some concerns and trust me, you REALLY learn who your friends are.
This is not only a WL experience, it is a LIFE experience that makes changes that will last forever...even if you gain all the weight back, because there are things you will NEVER be able to change once they happen.
My doctor finished up my exam by telling me how proud she was of me..She has seen many Bariatric patients and by this time there is usually signs of weight gain (sometimes as much as 40 pounds) I have maintained my WL for 2 years and for that I am grateful. I will deal with the depression with the help of my doctor and my friends (true friends that have stuck by me through the worst of times) I can also add this to the list of things I have learned to recognize and hopefully down the line will be able to help someone else.
I finally went to see my doctor, figured since I fell she might as well look me over and I could then explain some other feelings.
She wanted to send me for an MRI thinking I, in all probability, tore my rotator cuff. Since I wouldn't have it surgically fixed anyway, I told her I'd pass. My knee was swollen and she said if the fluid built up I'd have to have it drained, that I probably twisted it. Then I told her about other things and she told me I was clinically depressed..HUH??? Me depressed? How the hell does that happen?
She said it's fairly common with Bariatric patience...they go through an invincible time ...when they think they can conquer the world with their new found strength and energy. A dear friend described it as "like a religion" ...I realize I have been consumed with the program, the WL and the people I've met...I also realize I can not help them, if I can not help myself...So I have to prioritize and make it all about me for a while.
That really is not my nature...I have spent my life caring more about others, trying in my own silly way to make the world a better place. It really hasn't worked LOL and most people probably haven't even noticed my efforts...meanwhile I have fallen apart.
I am making strides to change things, baby steps that will set me back on the right track.
We are told in the very beginning that while this surgery will be a life altering event, there are certain things that will always remain the same. It is not a cure all. being thinner does not change every aspect of my life and, at times, creates situations that wouldn't exist otherwise..
People opinions will change, there will be some jealousy, some concerns and trust me, you REALLY learn who your friends are.
This is not only a WL experience, it is a LIFE experience that makes changes that will last forever...even if you gain all the weight back, because there are things you will NEVER be able to change once they happen.
My doctor finished up my exam by telling me how proud she was of me..She has seen many Bariatric patients and by this time there is usually signs of weight gain (sometimes as much as 40 pounds) I have maintained my WL for 2 years and for that I am grateful. I will deal with the depression with the help of my doctor and my friends (true friends that have stuck by me through the worst of times) I can also add this to the list of things I have learned to recognize and hopefully down the line will be able to help someone else.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Positive what???
Even the most positive thinker in the world is going to reach a point at times where you just want to tell the world to "KISS MY ASS"...That would be me right now LOL
Yes I'm laughing because I remain positive that there are consequences for the actions that some people feel are acceptable, that are not.
Some times the lessons in life are learned quickly, then there are some that take years...but people eventually learn and when they do, they pause and remember. Some may smile, while others are filled with regret for what they can not take back, for words they never said..or for things they did say that they realize caused a great amount of pain to someone they loved.
I can not dwell on the emotional pain, while dealing with the physical pain of the past few weeks.
I have a great deal on my mind to keep my thoughts on happier things...It is a coping skill I learned as a child. I could always bring forth a memory that would bring me to a happier place. It works even now.... Knowing yourself...not as others may see you, but as you truly are, is a gift.
Accepting your faults as well as your attributes, makes it easy to move on when someone has hurt you. What always amazes me is that people who THINK they know you, don't really know you at all....I for one would like to see a world where people could just get along, stop looking to place blame on every little situation in life and appreciate the good...but my world is not the real world...So we accept what we can, change what we can and move on in our own happiness.
I know I am not alone...that many of my friends hit emotional brick walls at times, when you just want to yell "Enough already!!" Yes we all feel sorry for ourselves at times, especially when we've been treated unfairly. But each and every one of us has experienced Joy and happiness...so pick a time in your life when you were the happiest and when you feel down...go there and visit that memory...That is one thing NO ONE can take from you and your most greatest gift. Life is too short to dwell on events that cause you tears and pain..Trust me..
It is far better to dwell on the joy you've known then the pain you feel.
A lesson for my WLS friends...it doesn't cure every aspect of your life...there will always be something or someone trying to take it away...Rise above the ignorance and be happy...
Yes I'm laughing because I remain positive that there are consequences for the actions that some people feel are acceptable, that are not.
Some times the lessons in life are learned quickly, then there are some that take years...but people eventually learn and when they do, they pause and remember. Some may smile, while others are filled with regret for what they can not take back, for words they never said..or for things they did say that they realize caused a great amount of pain to someone they loved.
I can not dwell on the emotional pain, while dealing with the physical pain of the past few weeks.
I have a great deal on my mind to keep my thoughts on happier things...It is a coping skill I learned as a child. I could always bring forth a memory that would bring me to a happier place. It works even now.... Knowing yourself...not as others may see you, but as you truly are, is a gift.
Accepting your faults as well as your attributes, makes it easy to move on when someone has hurt you. What always amazes me is that people who THINK they know you, don't really know you at all....I for one would like to see a world where people could just get along, stop looking to place blame on every little situation in life and appreciate the good...but my world is not the real world...So we accept what we can, change what we can and move on in our own happiness.
I know I am not alone...that many of my friends hit emotional brick walls at times, when you just want to yell "Enough already!!" Yes we all feel sorry for ourselves at times, especially when we've been treated unfairly. But each and every one of us has experienced Joy and happiness...so pick a time in your life when you were the happiest and when you feel down...go there and visit that memory...That is one thing NO ONE can take from you and your most greatest gift. Life is too short to dwell on events that cause you tears and pain..Trust me..
It is far better to dwell on the joy you've known then the pain you feel.
A lesson for my WLS friends...it doesn't cure every aspect of your life...there will always be something or someone trying to take it away...Rise above the ignorance and be happy...
Thursday, September 23, 2010
How busy can life get?
LOL I've all but stopped reading e-mail, especially the ones that start with FWD. while I appreciate people thinking of me, I'm just too busy to open most of it. I delete advertisements immediately , then look and see if I have any mail from friends or people I am mentoring...They are important to me and I always answer as fast as I can....Sometimes friends send stuff that does not say FWD but is..again I have to delete them. If I took the time to read all these "pass alongs" I'd never get away from this computer...So if you are one of the people that send me all that cute stuff...Thanks, but please understand that I probably never get to see them so if you want my attention you might want to include it in the subject line.
I am busier now then I have ever been in my life...I've got a stack of BD cards I've made and yet to get around to mailing...That's just WRONG, but I always feel that I should add a note and there lies my problem. Finding time to write one LOL
The animals require daily attention and I love giving it to them. It always starts my day with a smile when I feel their unconditional love.
Yesterday I noticed a new critter is living in the barn...A skunk...yup...I call it Petey, have no idea if it's a girl or boy...It is almost solid white with a thin line of black going down it's back and tail. It doesn't seem to mind the horses or the goats, but I think it's best to keep the dogs away. It doesn't mind me at all. I know what you are all thinking.."That crazy lady will get the stink bomb one of these days". You may be right, but I think animals, much more then people, recognize the pure of heart...by this I mean a person who would never , ever harm another living soul. Have I? I'm sure many times...with intention? NEVER?
I believe it's why the deer do not run from me. Why the baby fox sleeps under a near by tree and why the skunk walks over my feet and sits and waits for me to put down a dish of food...They feel it...they know they are safe..
So I don't mind the time I spend with my fur babies. I find it comforting...
Then I have normal household work to fit in...laundry, cleaning and at this time of year, filling my freezer and shelves with stuff to last through winter...Not because I have to, because I like to.
Then there is my time spent at the play house...either teaching or making stuff for an up coming FAIR...Of course there are days I just about get the animals done and I'm off to Binghamton to the doctor..between him and therapy you are looking at 8 hours (with travel time) sure takes a chunk out of my day. Then I have meetings and volunteer stuff, my Butterfly Project..Oh and lets not forget Christmas is right around the corner..Not sure I will be making a lot this year...I'd like to and I've made a list...but time seems to be moving ten times faster then I am..
Normally it would really bother me not to be able to make the things on my list, but I'm learning. besides, last year I sent packages to soldiers in the names of people I normally would have sent something to for Christmas, as well as my art group and my Lizzies (which I seldom see anymore) but still, I care and think of them...So sending boxes in peoples name was a way I could remember special people and still be able to get Christmas to soldiers. I think I'll do it again this year. I've already started collecting stuff...
So days continue to stay busy and I've given up hope that it will calm down any time soon. I do have to fit in getting Rave St. taken care of...but time will only allow for so much.
It is true what the say about life. It is indeed like a roll of toilet paper...the closer to the end, the faster it goes LOL
I am busier now then I have ever been in my life...I've got a stack of BD cards I've made and yet to get around to mailing...That's just WRONG, but I always feel that I should add a note and there lies my problem. Finding time to write one LOL
The animals require daily attention and I love giving it to them. It always starts my day with a smile when I feel their unconditional love.
Yesterday I noticed a new critter is living in the barn...A skunk...yup...I call it Petey, have no idea if it's a girl or boy...It is almost solid white with a thin line of black going down it's back and tail. It doesn't seem to mind the horses or the goats, but I think it's best to keep the dogs away. It doesn't mind me at all. I know what you are all thinking.."That crazy lady will get the stink bomb one of these days". You may be right, but I think animals, much more then people, recognize the pure of heart...by this I mean a person who would never , ever harm another living soul. Have I? I'm sure many times...with intention? NEVER?
I believe it's why the deer do not run from me. Why the baby fox sleeps under a near by tree and why the skunk walks over my feet and sits and waits for me to put down a dish of food...They feel it...they know they are safe..
So I don't mind the time I spend with my fur babies. I find it comforting...
Then I have normal household work to fit in...laundry, cleaning and at this time of year, filling my freezer and shelves with stuff to last through winter...Not because I have to, because I like to.
Then there is my time spent at the play house...either teaching or making stuff for an up coming FAIR...Of course there are days I just about get the animals done and I'm off to Binghamton to the doctor..between him and therapy you are looking at 8 hours (with travel time) sure takes a chunk out of my day. Then I have meetings and volunteer stuff, my Butterfly Project..Oh and lets not forget Christmas is right around the corner..Not sure I will be making a lot this year...I'd like to and I've made a list...but time seems to be moving ten times faster then I am..
Normally it would really bother me not to be able to make the things on my list, but I'm learning. besides, last year I sent packages to soldiers in the names of people I normally would have sent something to for Christmas, as well as my art group and my Lizzies (which I seldom see anymore) but still, I care and think of them...So sending boxes in peoples name was a way I could remember special people and still be able to get Christmas to soldiers. I think I'll do it again this year. I've already started collecting stuff...
So days continue to stay busy and I've given up hope that it will calm down any time soon. I do have to fit in getting Rave St. taken care of...but time will only allow for so much.
It is true what the say about life. It is indeed like a roll of toilet paper...the closer to the end, the faster it goes LOL
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