Well I made it...Do they hand out a tee-shirt for this? A button? A plaque on the wall? It was every bit as painful as the doc promised and more...Far more then I dreamed possible. Rich was there to support me, he held my hand as the steel tool ironed my muscle and tendons...the burn was incredible and the pain, mind blowing. No wonder he said it took commitment...it also takes a mindless idiot. I was given 4 shots prior to the technique but they had nothing to do with it...actually they helped numb it a bit. He tried a gun that shoots the medication in rather then use a needle (which he felt would be less painful...like that mattered) My tendon is so tight and thick that the medication bounced right back at him, could not penetrate...Gave a whole new meaning to me being a "tough old bird", which he said I most certainly was. Thanks for the compliment doc, but I'd rather have a teensy bit less pain. At one point the pain reached such a crescendo that I went to bite down on my hand and hit Rich's thumb instead...he just nicely asked that I not bite him LOL Poor guy at that point I probably would have bitten it off...I didn't and once he reminded me to breath I did better. Why I felt holding my breath would take away the pain only God knows...perhaps I just thought it would help me pass out.
After leaving the office we headed over to the Therapist, she did some deep massage and some electrical stim, along with injecting medication into a pad that then pushed it into my skin using electro magntic energy...I could actually feel it..Considering my heel was like a raw piece of meat by then I would have felt a feather...air even.... I started this whole journey at 3:20 (at the Doc) and finally got back home at 9:30 pm. It was a long and extremely painful day.
I was hoping to get on here today and be joking about all this...It's no F***ing joke and I ain't smiling. Okay...I am smiling, but basically because it is over and it is a beautiful day..but I dread tomorrow and if the surgery wasn't going to knock me out of the game for 6 months to a year..I'd have it done just to avoid this....This technique has helped people who were told there was no help...It is practiced nation wide and in a number of hospitals...so it's not voodoo and I am not alone in my suffering...Even the therapist said she has seen big burly men brought to their knees but it does help...Bottom line, fixing me is what it's all about...I'm sure it will get better in time.
Stay tuned......
My Hidden Treasure
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Just Catching Up
I don't know if it's me or is the whole world turning much to fast? I heard a little ditty once "Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end the faster it goes"...Turns out, it's true and not "Cute" at all.
My time management isn't what it once was, that's for sure. Heck I'd be done with house cleaning and laundry before 8 a.m. every day. Now I don't have half the laundry I once did and If lucky to have it washed before days end and it sleeps in the dryer sometimes over night...
I never had a dish washer and don't ever let my kids fool you by telling you they did dishes. I was forced to do dishes and vowed I'd never do that to my kids. they did clear the table and sometimes help by washing or drying...but dishes were done after every meal, mostly by me and put away...Now, with a dish washer, it seems I barely have time to load the darn thing much less push the button to start it.
My day starts very early but I don't get done with chores until almost noon. What the heck is that about? My studio is still a mess. I started cleaning and organizing it almost a year ago...I've got all my cubbies in place and some fabric folded but the rest of the place looks like a war zone.
I love working in a clean organized place, yet it never seems to be that way. Even down at the play house we seem to work in chaos. It's nice not to have to worry about cleaning up before a project is done...Oh wait..that's why I had a private studio built...hmm maybe studio's aren't supposed to be organized..but then how do they print that magazine? You know the one...all nice pictures of PERFECT studio's. Who do they belong to?
I love being busy and I must say, I am most of the time. Too busy to worry about cleaning up after myself. I do wish I had more time, the end of the day comes too fast, but when I look at all I accomplish in my day, I'm pretty satisfied...I just wish there was more day left at the end of my business LOL I thank God for the amount of weight loss I've had over the past two years. I can't even imagine myself having this much energy with those extra pounds.
I see heavy people waddling along and I just want to grab them and say..." There is help for people like us...You don't have to be trapped in that body"...but then I remember how contented i was at times, to be trapped. At least I thought I was contented..Looking back now maybe I just accepted something I thought I could not change..
So I know my day will be too short, they always are. But I will be grateful for all I manage to fit into this day and what I don't fit in...I'll tackle tomorrow.
My time management isn't what it once was, that's for sure. Heck I'd be done with house cleaning and laundry before 8 a.m. every day. Now I don't have half the laundry I once did and If lucky to have it washed before days end and it sleeps in the dryer sometimes over night...
I never had a dish washer and don't ever let my kids fool you by telling you they did dishes. I was forced to do dishes and vowed I'd never do that to my kids. they did clear the table and sometimes help by washing or drying...but dishes were done after every meal, mostly by me and put away...Now, with a dish washer, it seems I barely have time to load the darn thing much less push the button to start it.
My day starts very early but I don't get done with chores until almost noon. What the heck is that about? My studio is still a mess. I started cleaning and organizing it almost a year ago...I've got all my cubbies in place and some fabric folded but the rest of the place looks like a war zone.
I love working in a clean organized place, yet it never seems to be that way. Even down at the play house we seem to work in chaos. It's nice not to have to worry about cleaning up before a project is done...Oh wait..that's why I had a private studio built...hmm maybe studio's aren't supposed to be organized..but then how do they print that magazine? You know the one...all nice pictures of PERFECT studio's. Who do they belong to?
I love being busy and I must say, I am most of the time. Too busy to worry about cleaning up after myself. I do wish I had more time, the end of the day comes too fast, but when I look at all I accomplish in my day, I'm pretty satisfied...I just wish there was more day left at the end of my business LOL I thank God for the amount of weight loss I've had over the past two years. I can't even imagine myself having this much energy with those extra pounds.
I see heavy people waddling along and I just want to grab them and say..." There is help for people like us...You don't have to be trapped in that body"...but then I remember how contented i was at times, to be trapped. At least I thought I was contented..Looking back now maybe I just accepted something I thought I could not change..
So I know my day will be too short, they always are. But I will be grateful for all I manage to fit into this day and what I don't fit in...I'll tackle tomorrow.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Grow up and grow Old
I was recently talking to a local store owner who is going out of business (I'm sure her winning personality has a great deal to do with it) When I asked if she was "Retiring" she said she was too YOUNG to retire..I suppressed my laughter as not to embarrass her until I left the store.
First of all...is there an AGE to retire? I have a friend who retired at 35 so he could enjoy the millions of dollars he had made as a young entrepreneur. I have several other friends who retired way before 65, pretty much to start enjoying the fruits of their labors. So perhaps what she meant to say was "I haven't made enough money yet, in order to retire"...
I was left with the impression that she fears growing old. I've seen a lot of that recently. Women (not girls) in their 40's and 50's who refuse to believe they are growing older...who want others to believe they still look like they are 25...They may act immature but thats where their lack of maturity ends...They not only LOOK their age, there are times they look older...So , do they have a trick mirror? Or are they just in denial...I have seen older woman...totally expressionless, frozen by Botox...do they really think they look younger? Most of us think they look plastic, because that's what an old face looks like when it has no wrinkles and is void of character.
Ladies you need to wake up..You aren't young anymore, the beauty of youth has been replaced with the beauty that age and wisdom brings. Wear your wrinkles proudly, they define your face and add to your expression. To deny you are getting older, only makes you look foolish because we see what obviously you are missing when you look in the mirror. You can change to a youthful hair style, wear the clothes of a teenager and use a ton of makeup to hide the flaws that come with age....The only one your kidding is yourself.
When I was younger I saw so many older woman grow old gracefully and I remember how "stunning" I thought they were. I admired woman who dressed and acted their age. I'm not talking frumpy, these were professional woman who dressed appropriately and met their age with dignity and poise as opposed to denial.
There is no age of retirement (only an age to collect SS) Bless your heart if you can retire at 40 and do something worth while with the rest of your time here on earth.
You have to age...so grow up and deal with it...but you don't have to get old. Many of us "Oldies" remain pretty darned active....and I for one am enjoying the hell out of early retirement..
chew on this:
You are young as your faith, as old as your doubt;
as young as your self confidence, as old as your fear;
as young as your hope, as old as your despair.
Douglas MacArthur
First of all...is there an AGE to retire? I have a friend who retired at 35 so he could enjoy the millions of dollars he had made as a young entrepreneur. I have several other friends who retired way before 65, pretty much to start enjoying the fruits of their labors. So perhaps what she meant to say was "I haven't made enough money yet, in order to retire"...
I was left with the impression that she fears growing old. I've seen a lot of that recently. Women (not girls) in their 40's and 50's who refuse to believe they are growing older...who want others to believe they still look like they are 25...They may act immature but thats where their lack of maturity ends...They not only LOOK their age, there are times they look older...So , do they have a trick mirror? Or are they just in denial...I have seen older woman...totally expressionless, frozen by Botox...do they really think they look younger? Most of us think they look plastic, because that's what an old face looks like when it has no wrinkles and is void of character.
Ladies you need to wake up..You aren't young anymore, the beauty of youth has been replaced with the beauty that age and wisdom brings. Wear your wrinkles proudly, they define your face and add to your expression. To deny you are getting older, only makes you look foolish because we see what obviously you are missing when you look in the mirror. You can change to a youthful hair style, wear the clothes of a teenager and use a ton of makeup to hide the flaws that come with age....The only one your kidding is yourself.
When I was younger I saw so many older woman grow old gracefully and I remember how "stunning" I thought they were. I admired woman who dressed and acted their age. I'm not talking frumpy, these were professional woman who dressed appropriately and met their age with dignity and poise as opposed to denial.
There is no age of retirement (only an age to collect SS) Bless your heart if you can retire at 40 and do something worth while with the rest of your time here on earth.
You have to age...so grow up and deal with it...but you don't have to get old. Many of us "Oldies" remain pretty darned active....and I for one am enjoying the hell out of early retirement..
chew on this:
You are young as your faith, as old as your doubt;
as young as your self confidence, as old as your fear;
as young as your hope, as old as your despair.
Douglas MacArthur
Friday, September 10, 2010
Changing Minds
It seems that there has been a great deal of talk lately about changing our minds on surgery or which surgery to have. I'm not really sure why people feel that once something crosses their lips, it is cast in stone. Especially when it comes to surgery...
Anything that involves anesthesia is risky...bottom line...even though with RNY there is a bit more cutting...with the Band they are still invading your body. They are making the same cuts with both surgeries. In one they reconnect your own body part to a different area and in the other they leave a piece of plastic behind for your system to deal with. If you don't adhere to the "program" neither tool will work. Looking back on notes I've kept on each surgery within our group that people have been willing to talk about. I find that there were more complaints after Band surgery, then from those having the more invasive procedure of RNY...Those are FACTS, true facts accumulated within our own group. There was more complaining of pain, more talk about NOT losing weight or losing at a much slower pace and seemingly more frustration...mostly over not being able to find the "sweet spot"...That being said..there are several who had the Band, who not only didn't complain, went on to lose a great deal of weight (equal to that of a RNY) While certainly not in the majority, they obviously decided on the Band for all the right reasons and with a firm commitment. In all fairness, over time (I've not been in the program for years and years) perhaps the data will change considerably...but for now...people who have had RNY over the past 2 years, that speak openly and honestly are doing better then Bandsters fitting the same criteria and thems the facts folks. FYI I do not use names in my Journaling only "Subject #". I wouldn't want anyone to think their life is an open book...I don't even know who you are LOL It is something I decided to do, simply because it is in my nature to be a fact finder. I don't just find them, I research where they come from (most of the time negating their validity)
So why is changing ones mind such a trauma, such a dilemma ?How many times a day do we, in fact, change our minds? I wake up thinking I'm having cornflakes and have grits instead. I was going shopping and decide to clean stalls instead...I was going to finish a quilt project and started a new one instead. Life is full of change and certainly when contemplating something as important as a life altering surgery, one should be entitled to change their mind often, until they get it right.
This is something we do for OURSELVES so women have a hard time with it. We are so used to doing everything for our families or with them in mind. We tend to worry about all the ramifications of this surgery involving them...We do not seem to consider the fact that in losing weight, we not only become healthier, we can do more with our families, for our families and chances are we will be around longer to enjoy our families. So having the surgery is an easy choice...which to have is a harder choice and only the person making that choice knows in their heart which is best for them. Lets face it, both are a radical way to lose weight...However, if you've tried everything else and failed, chances are you suffer from a disease of Obesity and you're not just over weight...There is a difference..recognize it and deal with which one you are. I don't think anyone should rush into this surgery. The time allowed to us is for a reason, it should be used wisely and with a great deal of thought and research.
I am extremely happy with my choice...it changed my life in so many ways I've lost count. I can honestly say I am happier then I've been in a very long time and much healthier.
It wasn't a cure all, but it certainly made life more enjoyable just to be thinner....Now I contemplate yet another surgery to remove excess skin....Does it ever end?
Anything that involves anesthesia is risky...bottom line...even though with RNY there is a bit more cutting...with the Band they are still invading your body. They are making the same cuts with both surgeries. In one they reconnect your own body part to a different area and in the other they leave a piece of plastic behind for your system to deal with. If you don't adhere to the "program" neither tool will work. Looking back on notes I've kept on each surgery within our group that people have been willing to talk about. I find that there were more complaints after Band surgery, then from those having the more invasive procedure of RNY...Those are FACTS, true facts accumulated within our own group. There was more complaining of pain, more talk about NOT losing weight or losing at a much slower pace and seemingly more frustration...mostly over not being able to find the "sweet spot"...That being said..there are several who had the Band, who not only didn't complain, went on to lose a great deal of weight (equal to that of a RNY) While certainly not in the majority, they obviously decided on the Band for all the right reasons and with a firm commitment. In all fairness, over time (I've not been in the program for years and years) perhaps the data will change considerably...but for now...people who have had RNY over the past 2 years, that speak openly and honestly are doing better then Bandsters fitting the same criteria and thems the facts folks. FYI I do not use names in my Journaling only "Subject #". I wouldn't want anyone to think their life is an open book...I don't even know who you are LOL It is something I decided to do, simply because it is in my nature to be a fact finder. I don't just find them, I research where they come from (most of the time negating their validity)
So why is changing ones mind such a trauma, such a dilemma ?How many times a day do we, in fact, change our minds? I wake up thinking I'm having cornflakes and have grits instead. I was going shopping and decide to clean stalls instead...I was going to finish a quilt project and started a new one instead. Life is full of change and certainly when contemplating something as important as a life altering surgery, one should be entitled to change their mind often, until they get it right.
This is something we do for OURSELVES so women have a hard time with it. We are so used to doing everything for our families or with them in mind. We tend to worry about all the ramifications of this surgery involving them...We do not seem to consider the fact that in losing weight, we not only become healthier, we can do more with our families, for our families and chances are we will be around longer to enjoy our families. So having the surgery is an easy choice...which to have is a harder choice and only the person making that choice knows in their heart which is best for them. Lets face it, both are a radical way to lose weight...However, if you've tried everything else and failed, chances are you suffer from a disease of Obesity and you're not just over weight...There is a difference..recognize it and deal with which one you are. I don't think anyone should rush into this surgery. The time allowed to us is for a reason, it should be used wisely and with a great deal of thought and research.
I am extremely happy with my choice...it changed my life in so many ways I've lost count. I can honestly say I am happier then I've been in a very long time and much healthier.
It wasn't a cure all, but it certainly made life more enjoyable just to be thinner....Now I contemplate yet another surgery to remove excess skin....Does it ever end?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Time Just keep s Passing
Days get so busy and never seem to end the way we plan...Hell mine don't even begin how they're planned...
I can have a day all planned out and one phone call can change everything...Like last week, I had planned out my day (I very productive one I might add) but then a call came that Matt missed dialysis, which lead to sending a friend of mine to his apt. which lead to Police and Hospitals and....the day did NOT go as planned, neither did the next one or the one after that.
I think if I was as smart as people seem to think I am...I'd stop planning my days and just go with the flow. Much easier, much less stress and frustration.
I still haven't started my visits for the Graston Technique or for therapy...Next Tuesday is the day....Did I mention when Rich questioned the doctor as to why he keeps stressing the painful procedure...the doc said he had an athlete bite a towel in half? So stay tuned for this one...my life is quite an adventure when I stand on the outside looking in LOL
My public speak adventure went well last Tuesday...I received a lot of compliments...One man came up and told me how impressed he was that I did not use a "Cheat sheet" he said every Motivational Speaker he ever saw needed noted...WOW is that what I am? A motivational Speaker...I like that handle. Several people remarked about my lack of notes...like it was something real special, who watches stuff like that? I'd never notice....I didn't have notes simply because I hadn't had the time to write any. I thought about writing some cue's on my hand and then figured what the hell...why not just let it come from the heart...It seemed to work just fine.
In between running for Butterfly supplies I'm trying to get ready for a show we are doing...Tried making up some Fairy babies and when they cooked they darkened to little Spanish fairies...I broke off the head of a big fairy I was working on and an ear fell off another. I decided it wasn't a good day for fairies to be born and put all the clay away.
I'm sure there are people who know me (or think they do) that believe I have a very charmed existence...While that may be true in some respects (heaven knows I DO have an angel on my shoulder) ,my days are no different than anyone elses. Some are better then others and some just suck all together....but each one is a gift .
My visit with Bob was good...allow me to brag a bit by saying I weigh exactly what I did last year...woohooo I figure once this *&^%$ foot is fixed and I can walk without wanting to scream...I can get back to exercise and knock off another few pounds...but I'm very contented where I am...Have a great day everyone.....
I can have a day all planned out and one phone call can change everything...Like last week, I had planned out my day (I very productive one I might add) but then a call came that Matt missed dialysis, which lead to sending a friend of mine to his apt. which lead to Police and Hospitals and....the day did NOT go as planned, neither did the next one or the one after that.
I think if I was as smart as people seem to think I am...I'd stop planning my days and just go with the flow. Much easier, much less stress and frustration.
I still haven't started my visits for the Graston Technique or for therapy...Next Tuesday is the day....Did I mention when Rich questioned the doctor as to why he keeps stressing the painful procedure...the doc said he had an athlete bite a towel in half? So stay tuned for this one...my life is quite an adventure when I stand on the outside looking in LOL
My public speak adventure went well last Tuesday...I received a lot of compliments...One man came up and told me how impressed he was that I did not use a "Cheat sheet" he said every Motivational Speaker he ever saw needed noted...WOW is that what I am? A motivational Speaker...I like that handle. Several people remarked about my lack of notes...like it was something real special, who watches stuff like that? I'd never notice....I didn't have notes simply because I hadn't had the time to write any. I thought about writing some cue's on my hand and then figured what the hell...why not just let it come from the heart...It seemed to work just fine.
In between running for Butterfly supplies I'm trying to get ready for a show we are doing...Tried making up some Fairy babies and when they cooked they darkened to little Spanish fairies...I broke off the head of a big fairy I was working on and an ear fell off another. I decided it wasn't a good day for fairies to be born and put all the clay away.
I'm sure there are people who know me (or think they do) that believe I have a very charmed existence...While that may be true in some respects (heaven knows I DO have an angel on my shoulder) ,my days are no different than anyone elses. Some are better then others and some just suck all together....but each one is a gift .
My visit with Bob was good...allow me to brag a bit by saying I weigh exactly what I did last year...woohooo I figure once this *&^%$ foot is fixed and I can walk without wanting to scream...I can get back to exercise and knock off another few pounds...but I'm very contented where I am...Have a great day everyone.....
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If tyou can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time or attention,
If you can take criticism and balme without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
.............Then you are probably the family dog.
Sent to me by a friend...It made me smile...How about you?
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If tyou can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time or attention,
If you can take criticism and balme without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
.............Then you are probably the family dog.
Sent to me by a friend...It made me smile...How about you?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Things I learn from Animals
The morning was quiet, there was the sound of light drizzle through the tree's and the goats were doing what they do best...eating.
As I sat watching them, I noticed how one would use the other to boost himself up to reach a higher branch. They would take turns like that, both feeling that the top just had to be better,
Isn't it odd, I thought, that humans do the exact opposite, when one is trying to reach a higher goal he seldom helps the one beneath him, when a runner wants to win a race, he isn't about to stop and pick up the guy who fell..oh I probably would as would others that had no intention of finishing first anyway...there is a difference.
I heard foot falls in the woods, wondering is it the deer, perhaps the wolf...oh crap what if it's the Bear? How would I protect the goats? I do not carry a gun nor any other weapon...how would I fend off a wolf from making dinner of my goats. I had to giggle at my vivid imagination, but I realized: As human we consider ourselves so far above other critters who dwell with us on this planet...we place ourselves at the top of the food chain...there is nothing we can't kill and eat...But wait....With no man made weapon, I am as vulnerable as the goats. I am not higher on the food chain then they are and there are many animals above me...the lion, tiger and bear to name a few. Suddenly I do not feel all that superior to creatures around me. I am told that what makes us human is our ability to "reason". I think perhaps the person that decided that, didn't spend enough time with other living things...you can see reason in the eyes of animals, I have seen the ability to "figure it out" in a great many animals. I think as humans we consider ourselves far more GRAND then we really are. If some catastrophic event happen tomorrow we, as humans, would cease to exist...can't say the same for the animals. They would survive, not by their ability to reason but by their instinct of knowing what to do.
Each day I make a point of spending time with my animals, they are my greatest teachers. What I have learned from them I could never have learned in a classroom. I often feel sorry for people who haven't experienced the joy I get from each minute spent with another living creature..To observe them is to see the hand of God at work. I even learned something about weight problems through my animals...but that's for another day...I have some critters to go play with.
As I sat watching them, I noticed how one would use the other to boost himself up to reach a higher branch. They would take turns like that, both feeling that the top just had to be better,
Isn't it odd, I thought, that humans do the exact opposite, when one is trying to reach a higher goal he seldom helps the one beneath him, when a runner wants to win a race, he isn't about to stop and pick up the guy who fell..oh I probably would as would others that had no intention of finishing first anyway...there is a difference.
I heard foot falls in the woods, wondering is it the deer, perhaps the wolf...oh crap what if it's the Bear? How would I protect the goats? I do not carry a gun nor any other weapon...how would I fend off a wolf from making dinner of my goats. I had to giggle at my vivid imagination, but I realized: As human we consider ourselves so far above other critters who dwell with us on this planet...we place ourselves at the top of the food chain...there is nothing we can't kill and eat...But wait....With no man made weapon, I am as vulnerable as the goats. I am not higher on the food chain then they are and there are many animals above me...the lion, tiger and bear to name a few. Suddenly I do not feel all that superior to creatures around me. I am told that what makes us human is our ability to "reason". I think perhaps the person that decided that, didn't spend enough time with other living things...you can see reason in the eyes of animals, I have seen the ability to "figure it out" in a great many animals. I think as humans we consider ourselves far more GRAND then we really are. If some catastrophic event happen tomorrow we, as humans, would cease to exist...can't say the same for the animals. They would survive, not by their ability to reason but by their instinct of knowing what to do.
Each day I make a point of spending time with my animals, they are my greatest teachers. What I have learned from them I could never have learned in a classroom. I often feel sorry for people who haven't experienced the joy I get from each minute spent with another living creature..To observe them is to see the hand of God at work. I even learned something about weight problems through my animals...but that's for another day...I have some critters to go play with.
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