Lesson to share

While going through the process to have my surgery I heard many people ask about Nsaids...
medications used primarily to treat inflammation, mild to moderate pain and something used quite commonly. I've got a drawer full of these meds, prescribed for shoulder pain, knee pain...just about any place I have arthritis...I've never taken them...Why you ask? I always have good intentions, but I think I fear pills. I grew up in the Thalidomide generation, where woman took pills trusting their doctors...it was a terrible outcome. The pill was for morning sickness and the babies were born minus limbs. I don't know how well medications are studied, not to I know the outcome of long term. So in my head I guess I feel it's better just not to take crap into my body that it wasn't designed to ingest. Silly? Perhaps...I didn't say other people have to feel as I do, I'm simply explaining why I have a problem with pills and why I had no problem when told I would never be able to take Nsaids again, because they cause Ulcers...which evidently, according to Bob , I have.
So know I am faced with this terrible Achilles tendon..referred to as Bursitis ( a severe inflammation of the tendon and fluid build up at the attachment site) It hurts...I don't whine too often, but this hurts...BAD. I think it bothers me more that it never stops hurting, I get no rest..no break from the pain. I can take pain pills but then I can't function properly, so I opt not to take them. Therapy will help, I'm sure, it is aggressive and a bit painful, but I'm sure in time it will help and like most pain...this too will fall into the background of my mind. I concentrate more of my new little baby who needs my attention...My living critters who do not know or care that I'm hurting...although Emma has been more snuggly then usual..perhaps she does know and maybe she feels she can help ease the pain with LOVE.
If you are a person who takes medication for arthritis you need to think long and hard about never being able to take it again. I'm sure some are okay with that...I was. But others may depend on that medication to add quality to their lives. if you are one of those people I suggest you go with the Band or no surgery at all.
One of my students asked me last night " IF you had it to do over and you knew this pain would strike, which surgery would you chose?" My answer was: 'Exactly the one I did, because the Band was not an option for my life style and I needed a tool that I could work with"...When the need to fight the disease of obesity is stronger then any pain you can imagine, the decision comes easy with no regrets. Please look at the pictures posted of our new 'baby"...that's what makes all things bearable.....Those faces, that unconditional love and trust.

Our New baby

Whew what a day Saturday was. I was happy I got to share it with Cookie...They came for a visit and while Russ got a chance to play on the tractor and boy toys, Cookie and I got to go antiquing (we won't even talk about my foot) and got some wonderful treasures.
Saturday she got to meet my "Quilt students", they are indeed "a nice bunch of girls"..We all went to Fieldstonehouse and I helped each one pick out fabric for their quilt. Then we had a luncheon, right there with all the fabric..It was delightful...Fruit cup, choice of soup, choice of entree and choice of 3 desserts that were out of this world. Then we left the girls and traveled an hour up the road to pick up Alex, my new baby goat. Maureen, a girl in my group , was kind enough to offer a baby when Blizzy passed. She is a wonderful, giving lady and I am so thankful. he is just beautiful. he looks like a little deer. Of course he didn't look like an Alex and Phil decided he was a Jacob...Jake works for me, so everyone is happy. he wasn't in the stall 10 minutes when he decided to jump the wall and wedge himself between Red's stall and the barn wall...Not a smart little guy, but he's just a baby. We had to remove the wall to get him out...Rich was REAL happy about that and then we had to build a higher wall so it wouldn't happen again..
Did I mention that we rushed home with the goat because I had planned a dinner party LOL
I just love when things get chaotic, it adds such interest to an otherwise dull day.
Jake has settled in , although there are some food issues. Oreo doesn't share well, never did..so until he gets bog enough to fight for himself I have to stand there while he eats LOL
What does this have to do with WLS ? Absolutely nothing...unless of course you consider the amount of calories a burn running after the little dickens LOL
It's just a joy in my life I wanted to share...Pictures will be posted soon, but today is a very busy day...I get to find out whats wrong with my foot and hopefully get it fixed...The pain is getting old and I am getting ugly...stay tuned!

Regrets

Elvis comes to mind " Regrets I have a few, but then again to few to mention...." I know Frankie boy sung it first, but Elvis did it better LOL
Ya know what hurts? I just got an e-mail, it is the 5th one of it's kind. The person states that "you almost had me convinced that the RNY was better for me, now I regret not listening".
I don't try and convince anyone, what I do try and do is make a person look within themselves.
I am truly blessed with a gift of insight into personalities. (and it is a gift, something that cannot be taught) I am not bias , although I've been accused of that. Yes I do believe RNY was the right surgery for me and NO I do not believe the Band works for everyone. I feel there are certain personality types that need to stay away from the Band. Sometimes I just want to scream at member of the team and say "NO, it won't work for that person" but I know they are the best and it is not up to them to chose what surgery a person will have. Even if they know in their hearts that it isn't the correct surgery, they have to go along with what the person decides is best for them. I guess it's as it should be, but so many people regret their decision when it comes to the Band. I have never heard anyone with RNY say they wish they had chosen the Band.
I'm not sure people really listen. We are told from day one that the band is slow going, you will lose one to two pounds per week. We are told that eventually the Band loss will equal that of the RNY (I don't see that happening) in about 5 years. When a person sees people in the group melting at a rapid rate and they are 5 pounds down in a month...it really doesn't matter what they were TOLD or how much patience they believed they HAD, it is very disheartening.
There ARE those people who do very well on the Band because they chose it for all the right reasons (the least of which was mortality) and they are patient enough and understanding enough to know that they will eventually lose everything they need to lose. There are also those people who are able to work with the band, but the band can't work for them...some bodies just don't LIKE that foriegn object hanging around. Some bodies just tense up during stress and the Band does not work well.
It hurts me when I hear regrets, when I see a person facing yet another surgery that could have been avoided if they had only stopped to think of the long term ramifications.
Again I say...The Band does work, I've seen it, the proof. But it does not work all the time and it is not for everyone. That is not to say RNY isn't without it's problems...I just believe they know more about RNY and how to fix the problem faster (usually stuff due to mal absorption)
At this point I have stopped losing, but I've also stopped moving thanks to a bum foot. I am sure I can drop another 20 pounds with exercise and I will do so once this foot issue is cleared up. I have no regrets. I lost more weight then I have ever on diets, I feel better then I ever have and I'm happier then I've ever been. I guess I am bias, when something works this well, it's hard not to be. There are still those who can do it on diet alone. Surgery is not for the faint of heart that's for sure...but I truly believe it is the only solution for someone who suffers from the disease of obesity. If you are more then 100 pounds over weight and have been for more then 5 years...Stop kidding yourself, you are obese and you need help and you certainly need more then a diet. Do your homework, talk to people, research all the surgeries that are available and pick the one that fits your lifestyle....Don't play mind games and don't fear the unknown...Obesity will kill you faster then this surgery will and that's the truth!!!

Monday Can't come soon enough

I have never been a doctor person. By that I just mean, I don't go to doctors very often, sometimes not even when I should. Maybe because I have so many friends who are doctors LOL (if anyone of you read this, and I know you do, it isn't about you LOL "who is she talking about?")
I am so looking forward to Monday and getting an answer to all this pain. No matter what it is I know it will be correctable . Very few things aren't fixable. Rich asked me if Doc says surgery, will I do it. Normally I would contemplate that questions. At this stage, he can do it in his office without anesthesia for all I care. Not being able to walk properly is throwing my body off, my hip is hurting, my knee's are hurting and it's all because of this damned foot. Every step is like a lightening bolt shooting from my heal up the back of my leg and it's getting old, real fast.
I am trying hard to be aware of how pain can make me ugly. I'm trying to watch how I react to people, after all this isn't their fault or their pain.
The other night we had some friends over for dinner. The husband was standing by the table, I was looking right at him and saw the light go out..that fast, in a split second of time, even before I could react (although I did get up pretty fast) He fell like a stone, face forward. His face hit a glass on the table, which instead of breaking (Thank you so much GOD) just put a semi-circle cut between his eyes. he also sustained a fat lip but no broken teeth, again very amazing. (I truly believe my house is filled with positive energy) he was fine two minutes later. I asked what day it was, what year it was and who the president was. Rich had him squeezing fingers and we checked his pupils. he was fine. Refused the hospital, but did go to the doctor the next morning and test are being run.
I think it hit all of us, because we all thought the same thing...That he had simply keeled over and died. Of course we were all happy that wasn't the case, but the thought was enough to be un settling. For me it was a smack of reality as to how life can change in a heart beat. I said a prayer of thanks that the glass did not break..we all discussed how tragic the situation COULD have been.
Life is so very fragile. One second can change things forever...Live every moment in happiness, because you never know....

People are too funny!!

They really are...and I am "people". Why do I let the stupid things people say, bother me?
Why does anyone ? We all seem to really care what people think about us, how they view us both intellectually as well as physically. Do we REALLY care? I had to ponder that, especially since I have been feeling very battered emotionally from the quick and unfeeling statements of others. Truth is, we all want to be accepted, we all want what we say to matter, especially when we say things that DO matter. I have done a great deal of research into this surgery. I could post stuff, I could use big $20 words and I could make my point by producing and handing out sheets of valid facts (some very contrary to those that HAVE been passed out or spoken about). I do none of these things. I simply speak plain and simple truth that anyone, regardless of economic status or education, can understand. I do this because it is the way I like to be spoken too. I am not impressed by $20 words, I am impressed with words that mean something and speak the truth. I want to know the truth as YOU know it personally, not the truth from some book or paper that was written 3 years ago, in all probability by someone who never had this surgery.
I think deep down inside, that's what people want. They want the TRUTH about this surgery. They don't want to just hear the good stuff, they don't want to be told that both surgeries are just a TOOL. They want to know how REAL people work with those tools on a daily basis.
In pondering my own question, something I do often, I realize I personally really don't give a crap what people say to me or about me...I can defend myself , but I do give a damn about other people. That's what truly bothers me...Other people being subjected to negative, thoughtless information...There are two sides to ALL stories and both stories need to be heard...No matter what the issue, all sides need to be heard. If someone doesn't like what someone else says because it isn't what they believe to be true...well that's just tough. We all have a right to be heard and believe it our not, sometimes your way isn't the only way. Sometimes life isn't black and white. I also came to the conclusion that pain can cause ugliness, it can bring out the very worst in a person. I think people have seen the very worst of me this week, the pain in my heal is incredible , this is the first time in my life that self hypnosis has had little affect on decreasing my pain. It has also decreased my ability to see and think clearly and to maintain my positive attitude. The only thing I am positive of is taking a chain saw to my foot would be less painful.
I know a solution will be forth coming, I pray it does not include medication that I can no longer take. But I've learned to not cross bridges that have yet to be built (you can fall far and hurt yourself) instead I used another form of meditation and cleared my mind enough to find peace in knowing that "Those that matter, don't' mind and those that mind, don't matter"

Do I feel PAIN?

Pain: the sensation of acute physical hurt or discomfort caused by injury, illness, etc.
I looked it up because I wasn't sure. I'm happy to discover that I do indeed know what pain is and I am here to report..loud and clear...My RNY was NOT Painful. I am sick and tired of being made to look like a liar, or worse, a person trying to deceive simply because I tell the truth. The fact that really pisses me off is that I'm not alone. There are many of us who, if we could, depending on the job, would return to work a week after surgery. I resent being made to be foolish, brain dead or numb from the neck down, because some people complain of pain and I did not. I totally resent ANYONE who hasn't had this surgery, standing up and saying "regardless of what you hear, this surgery does HURT"...Well how in the hell would you know?? That's like someone who never had a child saying Childbirth is a walk in the park...How in the hell would they know and who are they to express an opinion on the subject? If you haven't done the walk, don't do the talk.
I found childbirth to be about a 5 in the pain category, I've had worse and the good thing about childbirth is you get a prize which makes it all the more tolerable. I've been with many women in the labor room and most would rate it a 15 on a scale from 1 to 10 and they have every right to...It doesn't mean I'm numb..just means that pain didn't hurt as much as others in my life. Now I personally know someone who had a baby in the toilet, not one labor pain...first baby, very skinny girl...go figure. If you are having a baby you may not want to listen to her because she will tell you there is NO pain connected to childbirth. She is not the norm.
I am not one in a million, right off the top of my head I can name 6 people who had their surgery and felt NO pain. Not only did I feel no pain, I used NO painkillers and I also know tons of people, who even though they had some minor discomfort (their words not mine) right after surgery...Never resorted to pain pills...
When did this surgery become a freaking contest, when did it become a wash woman's work shop? One of the reasons I deplore being with a group of women is because we all eventually get around to Labor Pains...who had the worse delivery, who suffered the longest, who had the biggest baby, who was torn from stem to stern...who the HELL cares? It's over, deal with it and move on..It's history...women have had babies since time began. Most of the world population still has babies with no help , no anesthesia and no pain pills. Would I trade with them? Hell no...I saw my children born, it was beautiful and yes there was pain...But it's over.
When people ask me about my experience I tell the TRUTH, my surgical experience was as pleasant as anyone could possibly ask for from the time I entered the hospital until now...I felt NO pain, discomfort on my left side, but not pain. My stay in the hospital was horrific, perhaps that's why I didn't feel anything...I was so pissed and so up set my endorphins numbed the pain...who knows.
I tell it like it is and some people are very put off by that. Too flipping bad!! I will never tell someone they will feel NO pain...I tell them I didn't and I'm not alone, but on the other side of the coin there are people who complain of pain months after surgery.
Do we look in a nursery and assume that every baby crying is in pain? Every baby sleeping is not...Perhaps the baby crying needs to feel the warmth of the mommy, maybe it's hungry, wet, or maybe it actually has a gas pain that hurts. The baby sleeping is content, maybe because it isn't hungry, or thirsty or in need of any attention...maybe it just likes the feeling of contentment which is more important then any other need at the time.
I have said time and time again that this is a very personal journey. We all react to things different and we are all stimulated by pain differently. I do not think any less of a person who feels pain then one who does not. Because I know all the factors that relate to our tolerance of pain. I may not have any fancy initials before or after my name, but trust me when I tell you I have experienced LIFE, the very worst and best that life has to offer. I have been out in the REAL world for a very long time...I'm not an idiot and I'm not dead from the neck down...I do feel pain. Even the dictionary backs up my claim :-)
For those of you waiting for surgery who may stumble on this blog..I say what I've always said..gather your info, talk to people who have HAD the surgery, we will be honest. The team at Cooperstown is tops in my book and they know their stuff...However, only one can truly speak from experience, having had the surgery...The rest can give you info based on what they have heard and seen...Not all of what they have heard and seen has been based entirely on the "norm". I will say one thing...If you PLAN on being in pain after surgery, you certainly will be...and that's a promise.

In Defense of...

Do we ever stop defending ourselves? Should we be thrilled that people care enough about what we say, so much as to dissect it ? If we feel a need to defend something we say, does that make us insecure? I ponder these thoughts (and many other) as I think about something that was said at a recent meeting. Said by someone I regard as above average intelligence and someone I respect as being pretty savvy about technology...Proving once again that people can "floor you" when you least expect it.
This person likened the LAP BAND to a medical implant i.e. heart valve, knee replacement...joint replacements in general. The last data I read, never once mentioned the Band as being a medical necessity...Now I'm guessing one could look at it that way...after all it is a tool used to lose weight and obesity is a killer of many. I guess if you want to make a point about something, any argument is a good one. I'm guessing I could walk to the store everyday...after all it is healthy and more environmentally safe and look at all the gas money I'd save. I could argue the point that everyone should have a gun loaded and ready...what if someone broke into your house...they might kill you.
I am facing double knee replacements and trust me the analogy doesn't even come close to the reality. I have taken every available step in order to avoid replacements, because I have this thing about foreign objects in my body (one reason I didn't have a band) Unfortunately, my options over the years have become less and less. It will be with great trepidation when I finally do have that surgery, but I will because at times the pain is overwhelming.
My obesity caused me physical pain as well as emotional, but I had many choices. I could have dieted, many people do and change their lives forever. Diets just don't seem to work for me. I looked into the Band, but it is a slow weight loss and I saw many problems with the Band that I didn't feel I could deal with...not to mention, knowing me, the port would become my new best toy...That's just the way I am...I was left with a BB in me once upon a time...it was no big deal, not life threatening...but I played with it so much I caused the need for it to be removed...It's what I do...so shoot me. I can't leave shit alone...if I have a scab it annoys me to no end. I usually cover them with a band aide to prevent picking at it. I decided to have RNY because it was the best choice for me, for my life style and for my health..oh and because I didn't want that piece of plastic in my body.
I've heard people say the really TRUST in the LORD and yet surgery scares them, mortality scares them...so I'm left wondering...How deep is their faith? Guess that's sort of like people wondering why I view a plastic ring as an alien...I faced my surgery without a doubt in my mind that God was at my side...It's what I believe. I also believe in RNY surgery as the best of bariatric surgery...I can give you 12 very valid reasons why...but it doesn't mean I'm right...all it means is I'm like everyone on the planet...I have an opinion.
I also have a favorite quote: Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth. I'll keep that in mind the next time I hear someone express an opinion I deem ridiculous and without merit.
I've always said life is just one mass of cross roads, we have a choice to have surgery for WL, if we chose to do so, we have a choice as to what surgery to have...What choice we make is the right one for us . Why we choose it is for our reasons and no explaination as to why we did so is necessary. Unfortunately people ask. The best we can do is answer honestly.
I asked a lot of questions before deciding and somehow I knew when people embellished the truth. It's a fabulous journey when entered into for all the right reasons...what ever they may be for you.