It has been a few days....Strange few days. I realize that stress has been a very damaging part in my life.
Having recovered from the house being hit 3 X by lightening...losing 2 TV's a VCR, electric fence, my computer a printer, our hot tub and other assorted electrical things. I realize how easy material things are to replace...so why did I head for the refrig with each new "find" of damage?
Then I find out my brother was in an accident and his new car is badly damaged, this happening on the way home from trying to get on the transplant list in Albany Med. How is it that my brother has survived so much pain and disappointment in his life and continues to smile and have this seemingly "I don't give a crap" attitude. I head for the refrig.
Then a very dear friend...lots of years and history behind us (over 50 years) decides to purchase a house and suddenly his desire becomes my problem and all that is wrong becomes my fault...I am left shaking my head, wondering how people can see things from such a distorted perspective..mean while I head for the refrig.
Then I go to the mail box and find that a very large check that was given to me has bounced.. Is every one's life this full of stress or do I have a target on my back?
I have a kid that thinks he should be "Given" the world while his greedy little wife wants him as far away from family support as possible...Divide and conquer works for her....( not the son who has been my rock over the past few weeks, but the one who never called to see if his father was dead or alive).
Oh I could continue to list the things that have sent me to the cabinet for cookies...but I know in my heart my story is not unique.
I am not alone in my continued faith in people only to be used and abused again and again...Will I ever change...? I doubt it, because there are good people, wonderful people who make up for the ugly ones. In my case the GOOD has always out weighed the bad.
I heard the Peacocks having a fit yesterday. When I went up there, Diana was off her eggs and trying to get out of the cage to be with her friends...I stood there looking at her, this adorable bird who has sat for months in the hopes that one of her eggs would hatch and when one did the others killed it. Once in a cage she continued to sit with no result. Now it was time to move on, her hope is over for this season and life goes on. It brought to mind something I read...that studies done on people over 100 years old showed that the secret to longevity had nothing to do with background, geography or diet...but something all of them had in common and that was a sense of humor and a total acceptance of loss.
Suddenly life is good again and I keep that lesson alive in my brain so I can walk away from the "oral gratification" that has hurt me all my life.
For every rotten apple, there has been bushels of joy that has filled my life....I can walk away from the unhatched eggs of my life, knowing I gave it my best and there will be another season.
It's amazing the lessons that can be learned by observing nature at it's best.
Rich gets stronger and healthier each day, we are surrounded by loving caring friends and children, grand children that love us...There is too much in life that has "hatched" to be concerned about the unhatched waste in life. Stress seems to come from the inability to see the joy it sometimes over shadows, but the refrig holds no answer or cure.....
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