The disease of Obesity never leaves us...all sorts of emotions causes that predator of self esteem to rear it's ugly head....Between the stress of Richards new found heart problem and the excitement of having my family together to celebrate a special Birthday...It has been a rough few days.
Rich has had two 'events' of extreme shortness of breath, which of course scares me to death.
I know I was told he will not have a heart attack because of that blockage (that ship has sailed according to the doctor) However, if another artery blocks there will be a very serious situation..So of course every change in the norm, up sets me and I head for the refrig.
I have been mindful by keeping the house stocked with only good, healthy foods. This way my choices are easy.
However when Krista comes to visit and brings her parents the fattening snacks, cookies, cakes and ice cream flow like rain (something we've had far too much of, rain that is) It has been difficult to say the least. Emotional eating comes easy...the fact that weight loss slowed down a bit isn't helping...but I know why and I know how to fix it....I just need to get back into my normal routine.
I did not pass up the BD cake, I doubt I got fat on a small piece of cake...it's all about choices...even with the bad stuff. You can choose to eat a humongous piece or one you can read through...your choice. Speaking only for myself, I respect this program and for the most part follow it to the letter, but I also feel a need to maintain a normal life and not feel deprived. We do not celebrate BD every day. Nor do we have a house full of people every day...Life does return to normal and things do get back on track. I have learned some important lessons along the way and one is not to beat myself up over small issues and bad choices. Yes I could have said no to the small pc. of cake, but I didn't, so what? It does not mean an old habit is back it simply means my emotions got the better of me...No biggie....I am aware of what I did and was aware of doing it. In fact I had to laugh at myself with my tiny fork, telling myself to eat slowly and chew LOL...Chew cake? Was I serious?
It was wonderful having my children here. David brought his Mom and dad up just for the day (they will return next week for longer) They are all a big help and fun to have around. Robyn even helped stuff Butterflies. These are the moments in life you can not repeat.
There are better things to dwell on rather then momentary failure. Like when my Grandson walked through the door and said "WOW!! Grandma you look awesome!!!", now that's something to dwell on. It has been a fantastic journey and yes, even I have hit some bumps but nothing worth complaining about or crying over. I never lose sight of the prize and being "awesome" in my Grandsons eyes makes this journey all worth while....
For those of you taking this same journey...Focus on the prize and not the failure of one day. There are beautiful days ahead....I just got my next package of new clothes..Large..it's been a long time since I could fit nicely into a Large and since i could buy off the rack...Talk about a PRIZE!!!
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